Adebelle

I can’t stop grieving for myself. Tears haven’t stopped rolling down my cheecks since the moment I looked at myself in the mirror half an hour ago. I couldn’t believe I’m staring at myself. It didn’t look like any bit like me. It must be a mistake! The girl in the mirror, no, it’s not me!!! This is began to look like the worst nightmare I found myself waking up to. Except that nightmare isn’t real but this is!

Words are not enough to relate the state of mind I’m having now. I am so upset and angry at myself. Nothing, nothing in the world can fix this feeling. I really feel UGLY for the first time in my life. I AM U-G-L-Y!!!

I hate the sight of the metals in my mouth. They look nasty and beyond horrible. I can’t believe I did this to myself. Why would I want to wear braces at the very prime age of 23?! I trully must have lost my mind! Now I only have myself to blame… No guy is ever going to look my way. Even if any guy does he probably just wants to take a good look at me and laughs himself to death. My confidence is slipping through my fingers faster than the quicksand and I can only sink deeper to depression. I can’t defy this. Maybe I belong in a dark hole now.

My mouth is swollen; so swollen that if feels like I’ve been kissed by a hundred rowdy men, by force! But I don’t really care about my swollen lips but can someone please, please, please take away the awful metals now and make them disappear forever!!! I can’t bear the sight of myself with these stupid things. Mirror and I are through. There is no way I can look into the mirror like I used to. I adored mirror and couldn’t stop checking my reflections but these are now history. :’(

I can’t continue anymore. My tears are blurring my vision… Can someone please tell me I can pull this through…

I found myself woke up earlier than my alarm clock. It was only 4.30am when I’d fully woken up from sleep. In fact, I woke up 15 minutes before my alarm went off. It must be the excitement which had been cooking all night in my stomach. The day had come! The day I, Adeline, the V.I.P of the Sepang Grand Prix shall be cheuffeured and introduced to the cute drivers!

With that happy thoughts, I rose from my feet and headed straight to the bathroom. At forsaken hour like that I managed that with no grunts but smile. I just love the whole process of getting ready for an important event. I love to dress and doll myself up with anticipations of bumping into some cute guys. I am not DESPERATE, okay! I was just excited… Besides, what’s wrong of getting excited at the prospect of meeting some eye candies?!

I checked my reflection one last time before stepping into my heels. Perfect. They wanted me to dress in blue and here, this was as blue as I could go. White prairer blouse with baby blue tube + body hugging blue jeans + blue heels and I topped it off with a blue purple-ish flower I got from Evita. I might not look anything like a sport-bum (well, to certain extend, I might even look like a bimbo) but who cares. I was supposed to dress like a V.I.P. Contended, I headed out.

It was 6.45am when I reached Sheraton Imperial. Buzzed Audra before I went up to the room. Gosh, that girl was still sleeping! I thought breakie was at 7.00am! Anyway, there was nothing to be panicked about. I was all dressed up after all. Oh, have I mentioned that I single handedly drove all the way to Sheraton Imperial? That, that itself was an achievement. No wonder they say, when you really put your thought into something you can make it happen!

I could barely eat my breakfast. All I thought about was the Pit Lane Walk. It’s supposed to start at 8.30am and there we were, 8.40am and still not yet departed from the hotel. Geez! That’s supposed to be the hightlight of the day! As soon as the Estima arrived, we hopped in the car and the driver wasted no time vroooming off to the highway.

The level of adrenaline in my blood shot to a record new high when I smelt the grease and the burned tyre in the air! There we were, finally! We were being cheuffeured straight to the Paddock Club area. I could already see piles of tyres piling up at the side. Many kwai lou guards were standing near the gate directing the human traffic. On the right, it was some warehouse lookalike place. Blimey, there were at least 10 porches stood proudly in there! I glanced around suddenly realized there were people thronging the entrance. It was a hussle bussle near the gate. For the first time I didn’t complain about the crowd. I loved it!

Without wasting any second, we headed straight to the Pit Lane. Gosh, there were so many people already! Almost everyone came with a camera! Ohhh-Ahhh, I couldn’t stop myself!!! There, I saw David Coulthard talking intensely with his mechanics. There were girls standing beside me trying to take a photo of David Coulthard. I was in awe. It’s so different seeing these people on the telly than seeing them in real life; talking right before me! I thought I wouldn’t get star-struck but I was wrong! It’s only David Coulthard and I was already lossing myself!

I should have just called out his name and snapped a picture with him! Just before I conjured up some courage, he walked right into the garage… Blimey! I hadn’t even use my line with a little fake british accent… ‘Excuse me, Mr. Coulthard. Do I have the honour of taking a picture with you? I have always admired your skill on the racing track.’ Of coz the latter was a lie! He’s never my favourite driver! Well… I didn’t even get to lie…

Never mind, there should be other drivers further down the lane. Oh boy, the noise of the engines… It’s deafening! It’s like a parade. Everyone just hopped from one garage to another, snapping pictures. Finally we reached the garage of AT&T Williams. Richard the person in charge came to greet Audra, Carmie and I. He looked like a nice guy. We took a picture together before I moved on to the next garage. He told us that he would come up to the Paddock Club area after the Pit Lane Walk to talk to us.

That’s Mark Webber’s race car, and Jenson Button’s… I couldn’t contain myself. I know all the drivers! Carmie was impressed. Hehe… Little did she know little missy here follows F1. Suddenly everyone including the press went rushing to BMW Sauber’s garage. There, the full BMW crew were posing for photograph! I squeezed myself passed a few big guys, determined to take a few shots. I heard myself saying, ‘Excuse me, do you mind me squeezing in for a little bit?’ The words worked like magic. The big guys moved aside instantly. Gosh, the reporter’s cute and he was smiling at me! I looked up and grinned at him and got lost in his smile. Boy, I must have looked really stupid.

Quickly, I fished out my camera from my bag focusing on the boys and the cars… There, Nick Heidfeld, I was so sure he looked at my camera and posed!!! I should have just run to him and gotten someone to snap a picture. Maybe, maybe I would even appear on some international newspaper with the headline ‘Mentally unstable girl ran towards BMW first driver Nick Heidfeld, causing hoo-ha in Sepang Circuit…’

Anyways, I was on the quest searching for the scarlet car. Maybe I was lucky enough to catch a glimpse of Kimi Raikkonen! I heard some really loud noise from a really powerful engine. I knew I need not look any further. I found the car! The Ferrari team was testing their pit stop timing. That was the closest I ever got with a Ferrari! I pinced my face, I wasn’t dreaming. But there was no sign of Kimi Raikkonen. It was the test driver who sat in the scarlet red stallion. Who cares, I snapped a few more pictures before the guards started chasing us out from the pit lane.

On my way out, I heard Carmie said to me, ‘Quick, look behind. There’s a guy checking you out! Quick! There, again. He is looking at you. Look behind, the guy with the ponytail!’ I didn’t know how to cope with her sudden remark. I looked behind but didn’t see any guy with a ponytail. Carmie urged again, ‘there he is, leaning at the wall. He’s checking you out! His head turned when you walked past just now! He’s still checking you out. Quick, turn back!’ The guard was urging people to leave. With one last attempt, I looked back. There he was, the cute guy with the ponytail. I smiled at him and walked away… Wow, this was getting fun!

Okay, everyone out of the Pit Lane. The practice session was about to start.With Audra and Carmies’ help, we managed to get into the Paddock Club. It’s a whole new world there! At the garden area, the aroma of coffee greeted my nostils. There were people milling about. Cute waiters and waitresses approaching people who stepped into that area with chilled drinks and some great smiles. Suddenly it seemed like your needs were their priorities. Eveytime I emptied my glass, within second a cute waiter would come by with a new glass of drinks.

At another corner, there were people massaging some tired feet. There was a caricaturist ready to draw anything you requested with ZERO charge. In fact, everything was F.O.C! You don’t pay USD4000 for nothing after all! I spotted an ice cream stand. I made an immediate mental note to come back for that later. I looked around, there were cute guys everywhere!! There, the cute guy I saw at the Pit Lane. He was giving me the look! I swore he was smiling! I smiled back… hoping that he would be one of the Williams’ guest.

There we were, at the AT&T Williams Paddock area. Too bad, that cute guy wasn’t a Williams’ guest. What a disappointment! Anyways, Richard showed up and ushered us into the room. Again, the waiters came. Juices, champagnes, wine, you name it, it will be yours the next minute… I felt like a royalty… It felt like a million dollar. I was a V.I.P!!!

The chef that day was a cute Austrian from Vienna! His name is Christian. It’s a pity that we didn’t exchange contact details! Else I will have a tour guide when I visit Vienna next time. He looked like an earnest guy. Slightly chubby but not too bad overall. We just talked and talked until an older chef came out… Then there was this Oxford dude. He was a funny guy. Reminded me of Nick. He was really funny and easygoing. So he got my name card. Boy, was I daring! It’s like being nude in a nude beach where no one on the beach knows who you are! I know it’s an odd comparison! But didn’t they say Carpe Diem?! Even though he isn’t all that cute.

Oh wait, I managed to take a picture with the Williams’ legend - Sir Jackie Stewart. I didn’t even know he’s a legend until I was told by a senior manager. He’s a 60’s champion and I am an 80’s baby… hehehe… Pardon my ignorance!! And yesterday, Audra even got that picture autographed! No wonder she’s a marketing girl!!! She said it might worth some money! Yeah, what a brilliant idea! An autographed picture, my first autographed picture with some important people!!!

I had a blast, I really did. My day ended with a strawberry ice cream. Yummmmy…

It was a life-time experience, I swear! I only hope that this kinda opportunity does come by again next year! I need a Paddock Club ticket on the Race Day this time!

Who would have thought… of all the people, I, Adeline, someone who had never won the tiniest thing in my whole life won the ballot of the year!!! My heart is still thumping at the thought of it! What could it possibly be other than my sheer Easter luck? It must be the early Easter present from the Easter bunny!

The present was a whooping USD4000 F1 Paddock Club ticket!!! And paddock club ticket is the most expensive ticket one can get. It is equivalent to the VIP ticket. Instead of standing out under the hot sun, the paddock club ticket holders wine and dine in the air conditioned area with free flow of champagne, wine and first class mineral water! There’s also free flow of ice cream and foot massage! Have I mentioned about the pit lane walk and the garage visit yet?! Can you imagine all these exclusive treatments?! Well, I can hardly believe it myself too!

It was Thursday afternoon after lunch. The day was getting a little bit slow after the heavy lunch. I was giving my presentation slides one final scrutiny before sending them out and I heard Shearn saying to me, ‘Eh, check your email now.’ I casually moved my cursor to open up my mailbox. Staring back at me was an email sent out by my project manager titled ‘Formula 1 ticket for Friday 6 April 2007 now available for balloting’. Shut up!!!!!! This must be a joke.

Eagerly, I read on…

Hi Team,

Due to some last minute cancellation by our client, we now have 1 Formula 1 ticket for Friday 6 April 2007 available. I’m putting this ticket up for balloting to the ACN team members. Please indicate with a (Yes) whether you are interested to be included in the balloting for the ticket. You need to reply back with a (Yes) vote by 5.00pm today latest in order to be eligible for the balloting. Ticket won is not transferrable or for resale. Please inform others.

Good luck.

I could barely believe what I was reading!!! Without wasting a second, I clicked on the (Yes) button.

Moments later, another email came through…

The ticket offered is for access to the Paddock (VIP area) with air-conditioning, buffet lunch and free flow champagnes etc.

It includes:

1. Complementary buffet breakfast at the Sheraton Imperial
2. Complementary transfer from Sheraton Imperial to and fro Sepang Circuit
3. Pit Lane Walk, where you can get up close and personal with all the cars and the drivers.

SHACKS!! He’s ruining my chance of winning!! Everyone’s gonna click THE button!!! I knew there were three of us replying with a ‘Yes’ before the second email shot out… Sigh, now that the probability of winning didn’t look great! With that, I told myself to stop dreaming of winning the ballot. Even though I’d love to be at the circuit for once! It will be such an experience since I’ve always been following F1 on telly… and I SO wanted to meet the Ferrari drivers and for that matter, any cute mechanics/engineers there.

By 5.00pm, my PM walked by… ‘You still have 20% of chance winning the ticket. There are only 5 people replying.’ Even so, I had a feeling Shearn probably was going to be the winner. He always wins something! Along with Syamsul and Kenny, the three of us followed our PM to the ballot room… The moment’s gonna come and I couldn’t wait!

‘So how are we doing this?’, my PM asked the three of us. Apparently he hadn’t figured a way to do the balloting. But a wiseman he is, he got some papers from J* and started to write our names on it. ‘So who wants to pick the winner?’, he looked across the room and asked. Unsure of his game plan, the guys being the perfect gentlemen themselves all pointed at me and said, ‘Adeline you go first. Go on and pick one.’ Alright, if they said so…

Lying on the table were five pieces of folded paper. I thought why should I just pick the paper from the existing arrangment… I should probably shuffle ‘em a little. After second time of shuffling, I finally picked up the only and one piece of paper which was lying away from the rest of the papers. Hesitated, I held the paper in my palm… It’s now or never, I willed myself to open it up. ‘Adeline’, it’s my name! But hang on, what did it mean? After all we hadn’t been told of the rules yet. ‘She’s the winner’, quipped my PM. You don’t have to imagine my next reaction!

OMG! OMG! OMG! I WON! I AM THE WINNER!!! I remember jumping up and down like a little girl who just received her first barbie doll. Honestly, I didn’t see this coming at all! The guys were dumbfounded! How did the balloting work?! ‘I asked you guys to pick the winner and you two asked her to. She picked her own name… What are the odds of doing that?’, quipped my PM again. He was amused! I swore he was so amused watching the whole drama unfolding in front of him. Haha… two confused and puzzled men and a delirious girl claiming her precious prize!

SO, I AM THE WINNER. Notice I don’t even bother to use the past tense. I AM the winner!!! For once in my life, for once!!! This is the most coveted prize of the year! A VIP ticket to watch F1. Well, for people who love F1, that must be an experience of a life time. Seriously! I couldn’t care less about my professional imagine. I practically bounced my way back to 25th floor. I couldn’t hide my excitement when I got back to my usual working area. I just had to SHOW OFF and GLOAT about my luck! (sorry, I really have to gloat about it this time. You don’t get to be this lucky everyday and this is not an everyday kinda luck too!)

Holding that little piece of paper with my name written across it, I went around to share my pure joy! This is not the end… the best part has yet to come. My PM came by to conduct a little prize ceremony. He handed me some cool merchandize which others can only drool on… ‘There, here’s the USD4000 ticket.’ I could only look at it while trying very hard to live in the moment, my moment!

I took a few deep breathes and suddenly remembered Audra and Carmie would be at the event too. They were the lucky marketing girls who get to attend the glamorous and happening events! I clicked on their name on my MSN and spread the good news in no time. I would be at the event too! Better still, I was going to go as a VIP! I just had to repeat this in my mouth, VIP!!!

You bet what I asked next. ‘What should I wear? Is there any dress code?!’ ‘Is it going to be really hot out there?’ Poor Audra, she was bombarded with my endless questions. ‘Yes, it’s hot, hot hot! Double meaning here, girl. So, DRESS TO KILL!’ It’s a tall order but hell yeah, I was gonna obey, GLADLY! ‘OMG, you mean, you mean there are going to be a lot cute guys?!’ ‘Yes, apparently even the mechanics are cute!’ ‘OMG, are you serious?!’, I moved my fingers even more frantically across the keyboard. Audra had just conjured up a bigger and better excitement in my guts!

‘Look I have to go home now. I’ll call you later, k? You have to, HAVE TO answer my call!’ Quickly, I packed up and went home with my arms full of Williams’ merchandize. Even so, every step I made that evening seemed to be feather-light. What a wonderful feeling. I felt like a happy little seahorse. Err, I don’t know why seahorse but it’s just felt that way.

As soon as I got in my car, I dialed Elaine’s number. I could hear her squeaking from the other end… Hahaha… I know, lucky me. Yes, I AM the lucky one. I was hoping she would be there sharing the once in a life time experience with me though. Too bad, Lady Luck wasn’t on her side that day. Someone else from her project got the ticket… Anyway, that’s not even my secondary concern. My primary concern was to spread my happiness all around!!!

You can imagine the number of calls I made… Hehehe… Audra was on my list. I just HAD TO call her to confirm a few IMPORTANT details, such as, dress code. I had a few choices in my head already but I just needed to find out if there was any black and white dress code that we must follow. ‘You have to wear the Williams’s Polo-T and a long blue pants’, came the voice of Audra. Say what?! Over my dead body! No way, I wasn’t gonna wear that oversized Polo-T!!! Didn’t she just tell me to dress to kill? I can’t even kill a fly with that hideous Polo-T, let alone the sizzling hot gems I was gonna meet. I slumped into my driving seat. There had to be a way… I DON’T FREAKING WANT TO BE SEEN IN THAT POLO-T!!! ‘So what are you going to wear?’, Audra asked again. ‘I don’t know… I haven’t made up my mind maan. I need to go back and have a look at my wardrobe.’

The last I checked my shortlisted list before I got into my car, the list read:

1. White cocktail dress from xoxo (or)
2. Purple cocktail dress from Miss Selfridge
3. White Prairie inspired Guess blouse (or)
4. Cute little pink halter Guess top (or)
5. Black Miss Selfridge shorts (or)
6. All time favourite - Mini skirt from Topshop
7. Gold Aldo sandals (or)
8. Baby blue Lewre sandals (or)
9. White HushPuppies sandals (or)
10. Pink Elle pumps

‘By the way, you are advised to wear comfortable shoes since there will be a pit lane walk. You will need to walk a little bit.’ Wait a minute, comfortable shoes = flats!! ‘NOOOOOO, please don’t make me wear them! To me heels are very comfortable! I can run in it! Not a worry in the world, man!’, I wailed… ‘Hahaha, well, if heels are comfortable enough for you…  you can just wear ‘em.’ Pheeeew, no flats! Yay! It’s bad enough I had to overwrite my cocktail dresses. There is nothing in the world can stop me from wearing my heels! Nothing!

I yakety yak yak away on how one should never wear something which is totally ill-fitted. Finally, Audra relented… ‘Well, you can wear your own top. But please, it should be business casual! and no shorts!’ Yay! No more Polo-T! I sure was determined!

I could barely conceal my excitment later that night. I had all my clothes chose and ironed. I even had the matching sandals to go with. There’s only one thing in my mind. I must look my best!

I went through my checklist again:

1. Paul & Joe Blotter –> checked
2. Anna Sui Lip’s gloss –> checked
3. M.A.C compact powder –> checked
4. Anna Sui blusher –> checked
5. Paddock Club Ticket –> checked
6. Sun lotion –> checked
7. Mobile phone –> checked

Okay, it looked like I had everything else covered. With a smile I said a quick prayer and summoned myself to bed. Ahhh, what a Thursday I had! Extraordinary Friday, wait up, here I come!