Revelation
I learned something new yesterday. Maybe the truth is always there but I had failed to see it.
Yesterday wasn’t exactly the best day I had in this week. I was really ticked off by what I call demotivated and slightly-not-so kind remark which everyone should be refrained from saying that to anyone. Well, maybe my blur-ness did trigger the remark but hey, it doesn’t deserve remark like that, ok!! To my defense, I was working so hard for the past months trying to fit in and meet all the expectation expected of me. Without any past experienced, I met the almost unreachable deadlines. If only if you knew how much effort I’d been making… So the remark was kinda doubting what I’d put in for the past few months. You tell me, if you were in my shoes, wouldn’t your blood be boiling too?!
Oh no, don’t tell me I’m turning into a hyper-sensitive person!! I don’t want that to happen!! Hmmm….
Anyways, I was storming out the office soon after the remark. Not exactly trying to run away but I had a valid reason to leave… I was on my way to meet my counselor in KLCC. On the way to KLCC, my brain couldn’t stop thinking about the in-my-own-term hurtful remark. I couldn’t understand why would someone subjecting such pain on another being. Only did I remember fairy land I am not living in… Sad, isn’t it?
Too frustrated, I reached for my mobile phone and jabbed Paul’s number. Poor thing Paul, his ears endured what it seems like a 30 minutes of non-stop noise pollution. On the other end of his receiver was me, speaking very animated in front of Dome (where I was supposed to meet my counselor), amused all the passersby when they walked past. But hey, I needed to get everything out from my chest before I had a heart attack, ok? I was really fuming and my blood pressure was shooting sky high.
I was a bit calmed and slightly zen-like when saw my counselor walking towards me. Professional imagine, remember? I was trying to hide my irritation but I failed miserably when he started asking ‘how’s your day?’ That’s just an invitation to my almost endless ranting… Poor counselor, he had to endure what Paul had endured. His could only be longer than Paul’s. Haha, I felt so embarrassed but he said a counselor’s job is to sit there and listen to all the b******* from counselees. Now I can only hope that his lips are very well sealed! Else, he’d get a really bad review from his trusty little counselee, moi.
Anyway, my counselor always had a way of pacifying me. He told me there are so many different types of people in this world. Now, due to the difference, people behave differently. Hah, isn’t that obvious?! Of course, but when you get all so worked up and anger blinds your eyes completely that you fail to see the obvious. He said when someone behaves rudely towards you, that should be his/her problem, not yours. Maybe this person has problem containing his/her feelings and need anger management or maybe this person simply has a bad day… Perhaps, like me, this person needs an avenue to release his/her frustration… What a revelation. Suddenly, the remark was not so unkind anymore. It now seems so small that it is actually smaller than a mole. Yet, I managed to make it so big that it’s bigger than a hill.
On the way back from KLCC, I was thinking about the entire incident. It opened my eyes to see things that I couldn’t see before. If words like that from someone (not even the distanced kin of mine) could have such effect on me (maybe I took it a tad too personal) imagine the effect it would have on my parents when I stubbornly said something awful which I didn’t intend to. Their heart must be aching a gazillion times worse than what I was feeling. Words are not only words. Words are so lethal. They can be sharper than a sword or gentle than a morning breeze.
I have a choice everyday. To make or to break someone’s day. To bring a smile or a frown on someone’s face. I want to make someone’s day. I have my choice, have you?
Back in the office, this person was smiling at me. It wasn’t a dream. It was as if he/she was happy to see me. Unless it was all an act. But hey, the smile was sincere. Perhaps, this person never meant to say those words. Perhaps this person was feeling guilty and wanted to make it up by being nice now. Perhaps, this person totally forgotten about the incident…
Nevertheless, I feel like I’ve gained more than I lost yesterday. Not everyday you sit down and just think about things like that. My eyes are definitely open up to see things perhaps, I refused to see.
Not a bad day afterall. 
