Totally Cowed! Moooo…..
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggghhhhhhhhhh… I’m fuming, my blood vessels are expanding twice their normal size, my heart is thumping, my mouth is opening, my fists and teeth are clenching and I’m on the verge of biting her head off!!!!
Now, breathe in, breathe out, do it again and one more time… I need some fresh air in my head, like, right now!! Every bit of me is boiling and you bet you can turn an uncooked egg into steaming hard boiled egg if you put the egg really close by me. No one could have gotten on my nerves and driven me up the wall this way. I think I might slap her in my dream tonight!! Urrrrgh!!!!!
You see, I was happily singing and moving to the beats along with ColdPlay in my car this morning. I was so calm and serene even the horrendous traffic jam didn’t seem to bother me. As I was closing my eyes and savouring the ‘climax’ of the song (try Fix U by ColdPlay and you know what I mean), BAAAAAAAANG, my black stallion jerked and I found myself suddenly back to the ugly side of the world. What a shock you would imagine me having from having a moment in the beautiful world of melody and the next minute, some IDIOT came waking me up with a BANG!
You see, I was stucked in the jam which pratically barely moved an inch. That explains why I could close my eyes and enjoying what I thought a beautiful morning. I got down my car with my hands resting on my hips (not a pretty sight, very confrontational I’d say but hey, at least I didn’t scream at her or demand compensation right away!), scanning the damage briefly and shrugged my shoulders as I turned to look at the driver. I wouldn’t call her IDIOT, STUPID, MORON, FOOL, SUCKER, MINDLESS, BRAINLESS, LOW MENTALITY, no, not anything remotely related to these unkind words, if she showed me just a simple apologetic gestures like saying SORRY. NONE, she said nothing at all and needless to mention showing me an apologetic face!!!!
What a stupid time to clear the jam! The cars in front started to move and obviously I wasn’t gonna budge an inch if I hadn’t got her phone number! Dumbo, what a complete dumbo and ultimate @$$**** she must be! Every cells of my body can’t agree more with me on that! Instead of giving her phone number to me, who is lossing patience and completely embarrassed thanks to the SHE COW (now I know why she can’t utter simple word like ’sorry’ because she can only moo) and other idiots on the road who so inconsiderably, shamelessly and stupidly hoking at me, or us! Hello, it wasn’t my fault, ok!!!! These people are hopelessly beyond hopeless. Is that how a courteous driver behaves? Oh no,forgive me, my bad, I completely forgotten about the fact that there are only a handful considerate and courteous drivers these days. Is not like I wanted or I chosed to hog the road. I didn’t have a choice, did I?! Urgh, these people are such a complete cow and great pain in the ass neck.
Mind you, I’m close to getting a heart attack even if I don’t have any! That is not all. SHE COW had the nerve to hurry me up when I was taking down her phone number. In this case, she sat comfortably and SHAMELESSLY in her car while I had to stand right in the middle of all the hustle bustle, taking in the humiliation stares from annoying monkeys on the road. SHE COW mooed, ‘Can faster a bit ahhh. A lot of cars behind leh.’ What the hell heck was that?! ‘HELLO, YOU IS THE ONE HITS ME AND NOW YOU IS TO ASKING ME TO FASTER A BIT’, I was so compelled to scream the supposedly cow language at the complete cow!! I didn’t, of course, I wouldn’t want to be a cow in a thousand light years to come. Beside, talking about courtesy, civilization, grace and forgiving heart.. I am absolutely one who talks and behaves gracefully and very, I say VERY politely.. Well, at least, that’s what I’d like to think.
Now, few months back, if you remember, I had the similar experience except that I was the apologetic driver hitting CE’s car from behind, which caused him hitting another car in front. Well, in this case, I am not even trying to defend myself but the truth is, some car in front made an emergency break and you can imagine the impact to the cars following CLOSELY behind. Put that aside, at least I apologized to the drivers with tears and offered to compensate their loss. I took all the responsibilities, I gave my phone number to them willingly and I certainly walked up to their car and you know, expressed my regrets. Come to think of it, it was hardly my fault.
This SHE COW, I have absolutely no idea what in the cow world her cow mind was thinking about when she ‘accidentally’ hit my car, which wasn’t moving (gear in N) at all! You see, my car wasn’t moving, not an inch ok! Obviously I wasn’t doing any emergency break if you already figured that out by now. Maybe SHE COW was deciding which pasture she wanted to head to for grazing?? Only foolish cow with cow mind like hers knows.
I’m very self poised, calm, zen-like and of course forgiving… *breathe hard*
So, moving forward, or rather, looking at the bright side, my horoscope (Agnes said it’s rather accurate) of this months says, ‘MONEY is flowing in, I shall be expecting a SUM of money coming from unknown source…’ Could 4D be the unknown source? Hmmm, we’ll see… Of coz I’ll leave the task to my grandma, Agnes and you lot who are thinking to get to the nearest 4D counter for a change of luck 
My Black Stallion bares the number 7005 and the SHE COW’s COWISH car WLA 4284.
Pheeew, I’m so much calmer now… Listen up STUPID COW, if I happen to find any damages other than the scratches you stupidly caused, you better be expecting the agitated me come knocking right at your COW-ISH front door! You better learn to MOO the word SORRY to me or risk being sent to the abottoir!
