2005 Flashbacks
Oh no, oh no… It’s been 5 days stepping in a brand new year and I haven’t really jotted down any resolutions! There are so many things which come to mind at random time. One minute when I was driving, I thought I declared a new resolution and another minute while sitting on the train to get to KLCC another resolution came to mind. So you see, what I really meant is I need to compile all these little thoughts which scattered around in my tiny little head like shinning little stars in the sky. It’s always the case, easier said than done. Obviously, the compilation of thoughts has been postponed since the NYE until now. *grinning sheepishly*
Hmmm, maybe just let me close my mind eyes and reflect the past 369 days (mind ya, it’s 5th of Jan already!)…
Last year this time, I was a happy fresh graduates who led a carefree life and unemployed too. Not that I couldn’t get a job, just that was waiting for something good to come along. Then there came the Valentine’s Day, the beginning of my journey as an employed adult (was then officially 21 years old!), my first day as a proud IBMer (unexpected friendship blossomed since then) and my of coz first Valentine’s Day spending at work. But then again, it’s not like I celebrate the Valentine’s Day, anyway…
There past a good 8 months in the Big Blue, hardening my wings to fly further and higher. Many people probably still trying to search for a direction to follow at this point. Am lucky to have found mine. On the 16th of October, I entered into a whole new journey after spending nights and nights thinking about what future might hold for me in the new firm. Then I remembered a song ‘Que Sera Sera’. It’s true, what will be will be, so long I set myself a goal and keep moving towards it. I’m glad that’s where am heading to with each passing day. One has to have a goal else it would be like travelling in the desert without a bearing.
Those are the major decisions I’ve made in 2005. Very obvious, there were big steps I’d made. No regrets, no regrets at all. Wow, that’s probably enough to sum up my year 2005! In case you haven’t noticed, those bold steps were all career related. How about love life or any other things, I asked myself…
Speaking of love life, I’ve just finished reading Memoirs of A Geisha. I have heard of this book back when I was in my highschool. I remembered flipping dictionary to look up the meaning of Geisha. It’s a shame that I only started reading this fantastic material now. Perhaps, with my current mentality, I can understand the book better. I’ve always felt that I can easily blend in the character in the books that I read. When I was reading Bridget Jones’s Diary, I often felt that I was her. Same thing happened when I was reading The Shopaholic series. I thought the author must be writing about me. Becky Bloomwood is Adeline and Adeline is Becky Bloomwood.
Somehow, this time, as I took in every bit of the story evolved around Geisha, Sayuri, I didn’t quite feel the strong resemblance between us. I don’t think I could quite go through what she’s been through and her love for Chairman was no one is to compete. I admire her determination to win over Chairman’s heart. That was the one and only drive pushing Sayuri to become a great geisha in Gion, her only way to get close to Chairman whom she fell in love with near the riverbank when they met for the first time. Chairman became the center piece in her life, the reason she smiled, the reason she cried and the reason she lived on the life under Hatsumomo’s constant bullying. I had given up hope believing Sayuri and Chairman would at last found each other in their embrace when I read through the final chapter. I thought Chairman was never Sayuri’s destiny. You have to read to book yourself to find out why. My emotions were so intensed and fused with Sayuri’s as the story reaching its end. The ending, in my point of view is a bittersweet one. Chairman did end up as Sayuri’s Danna and migrated to NYC but Chairman passed away way ahead of Sayuri. Well, Chairman was already in his middle age when Sayuri was only 15!! Strange enough, if I happened to come across such combination in real life (Old man + really young partner) I’d probably snare at it but not this time…
So, what about my love life? Hmmmm, it will not be like Sayuri’s for I don’t have the determination she possessed. Perhaps when I meet my own Chairman only will the courage show. That is still an unknown… Maybe I will never be like Sayuri. Chairman is a married man, for heaven’s sake! To me, that is the boundary I can never cross… I probably won’t even fight for a guy that I like if he’s attached… I guess it’s best to leave this topic for now.
That’s a lot of flashbacks going on… Oh by the way, am getting totally used to the new hairstyle. Thomas indeed understands we girls very well. Didn’t he say I’d like the hairstyle once my female friends gasping at it and telling me how great I look?? Absolutely spot on! I’ve been enjoying ‘Ahh, I like you hair.’,'Nice hair you have.’, ‘You look so cute and you look like Barbie Doll!’ a lot these days. (Note that some compliments MIGHT not be sincere but who cares) Vain, vain, vain. I am vain 
*look into the mirror*
Suddenly I feel like giving Thomas a big hug and tell him, ‘Yes, you are right!’
Ironically, just few days ago, I tried so hard to ‘de-curl’ my hair and now am trying all I can to retain the curls… Please stay on my head longer my cute little curls… *geez, aren’t I full of myself? I think I really am…*
