Adebelle

My eyes are still swelling from my own ’saga’ last night. They hurt, they really do. My eye sight is rather blurry. It is as if there is a thin layer of tears lingering in my eyes. My head is spinning, oh it is really heavy. Perhaps it is still filled little ‘payback’ I want SHE COW to receive. My arms hurt too. Maybe it was the pillow-throwing last night. My brain is dry. Maybe I’ve drained all that I have in there by crying like a petulant kid I once was many, many years ago. My heart is still heavy. Why can’t I let go of that incident.

I haven’t felt like this since a long, long time. I remember the last time I cried like this, screaming, stamping my feet, throwing things on my bed, hitting and punching the wall (yes, I know it’s a bit ‘bizarre’ to imagine that) and willing myself to become to the kid who gave out her most heart wrencing cry when she didn’t get the barbie doll she wanted. I am not sure how long I turned back the hands of time…

I’d been waiting to lodge a police report on the car accident SHE COW caused yesterday morning. I’d even craft out the whole incident. My parents, after talking to my Uncle Peter, finally decided to turn to police for help. You can imagine how frustrated I was. Just when I happily getting ready to get to the police station, realised my dad jotted down the wrong registration number of SHE COW. Blimey!! I could remember the number but I couldn’t be sure of that. Foolish me, should have snapped a picture of that. It completely slipped my mind. WLA 4248 and WLA 2842, which one it is?? Very very reluctantly, I ‘rested’ the case and retreated to my room. I was cooped up with mixed feelings and I just couldn’t contain them any longer. The next thing I realised, tears started streaming down my face and hands reaching out for near objects and up they went and down they fell on the ground. I needed to let out what was tormenting me inside.

That stupid SHE COW, I didn’t quite expect her to be so despicable!!! Not only she didn’t apologize for her own stupidity, she gave me the wrong contact number!!! How not to have my blood boiling and pressure shooting up sky high??!! I swear when I see her on the road, by any chance next time, she will not be so lucky this time.

It’s not like I’d beat the crap out of the SHE COW. It’s a matter of taking responsibilities over your wrongdoings. She has to pay for that with as simple as ‘I’m sorry’. I HATE people like SHE COW, indeed, how very cowardish. No wonder she is a complete cow of all cows. Cow lovers, I’m sorry.

I really ought to let go of this incident. Forgive and forget, or rather, just to make me feel better, what goes around comes around. She will have her receiving end one day. This is what I call KARMA.

Well, I really don’t wanna be such a mean, vengeful and grumpy girl. Believe me, I really do wanna forgive and forget. Tell me god, how did you do that?

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggghhhhhhhhhh… I’m fuming, my blood vessels are expanding twice their normal size, my heart is thumping, my mouth is opening, my fists and teeth are clenching and I’m on the verge of biting her head off!!!!

Now, breathe in, breathe out, do it again and one more time… I need some fresh air in my head, like, right now!! Every bit of me is boiling and you bet you can turn an uncooked egg into steaming hard boiled egg if you put the egg really close by me. No one could have gotten on my nerves and driven me up the wall this way. I think I might slap her in my dream tonight!! Urrrrgh!!!!!

You see, I was happily singing and moving to the beats along with ColdPlay in my car this morning. I was so calm and serene even the horrendous traffic jam didn’t seem to bother me. As I was closing my eyes and savouring the ‘climax’ of the song (try Fix U by ColdPlay and you know what I mean), BAAAAAAAANG, my black stallion jerked and I found myself suddenly back to the ugly side of the world. What a shock you would imagine me having from having a moment in the beautiful world of melody and the next minute, some IDIOT came waking me up with a BANG!

You see, I was stucked in the jam which pratically barely moved an inch. That explains why I could close my eyes and enjoying what I thought a beautiful morning. I got down my car with my hands resting on my hips (not a pretty sight, very confrontational I’d say but hey, at least I didn’t scream at her or demand compensation right away!), scanning the damage briefly and shrugged my shoulders as I turned to look at the driver. I wouldn’t call her IDIOT, STUPID, MORON, FOOL, SUCKER, MINDLESS, BRAINLESS, LOW MENTALITY, no, not anything remotely related to these unkind words, if she showed me just a simple apologetic gestures like saying SORRY. NONE, she said nothing at all and needless to mention showing me an apologetic face!!!!

What a stupid time to clear the jam! The cars in front started to move and obviously I wasn’t gonna budge an inch if I hadn’t got her phone number! Dumbo, what a complete dumbo and ultimate @$$**** she must be! Every cells of my body can’t agree more with me on that! Instead of giving her phone number to me, who is lossing patience and completely embarrassed thanks to the SHE COW (now I know why she can’t utter simple word like ’sorry’ because she can only moo) and other idiots on the road who so inconsiderably, shamelessly and stupidly hoking at me, or us! Hello, it wasn’t my fault, ok!!!! These people are hopelessly beyond hopeless. Is that how a courteous driver behaves? Oh no,forgive me, my bad, I completely forgotten about the fact that there are only a handful considerate and courteous drivers these days. Is not like I wanted or I chosed to hog the road. I didn’t have a choice, did I?! Urgh, these people are such a complete cow and great pain in the ass neck.

Mind you, I’m close to getting a heart attack even if I don’t have any! That is not all. SHE COW had the nerve to hurry me up when I was taking down her phone number. In this case, she sat comfortably and SHAMELESSLY in her car while I had to stand right in the middle of all the hustle bustle, taking in the humiliation stares from annoying monkeys on the road. SHE COW mooed, ‘Can faster a bit ahhh. A lot of cars behind leh.’ What the hell heck was that?! ‘HELLO, YOU IS THE ONE HITS ME AND NOW YOU IS TO ASKING ME TO FASTER A BIT’, I was so compelled to scream the supposedly cow language at the complete cow!! I didn’t, of course, I wouldn’t want to be a cow in a thousand light years to come. Beside, talking about courtesy, civilization, grace and forgiving heart.. I am absolutely one who talks and behaves gracefully and very, I say VERY politely.. Well, at least, that’s what I’d like to think.

Now, few months back, if you remember, I had the similar experience except that I was the apologetic driver hitting CE’s car from behind, which caused him hitting another car in front. Well, in this case, I am not even trying to defend myself but the truth is, some car in front made an emergency break and you can imagine the impact to the cars following CLOSELY behind. Put that aside, at least I apologized to the drivers with tears and offered to compensate their loss. I took all the responsibilities, I gave my phone number to them willingly and I certainly walked up to their car and you know, expressed my regrets. Come to think of it, it was hardly my fault.

This SHE COW, I have absolutely no idea what in the cow world her cow mind was thinking about when she ‘accidentally’ hit my car, which wasn’t moving (gear in N) at all! You see, my car wasn’t moving, not an inch ok! Obviously I wasn’t doing any emergency break if you already figured that out by now. Maybe SHE COW was deciding which pasture she wanted to head to for grazing?? Only foolish cow with cow mind like hers knows.

I’m very self poised, calm, zen-like and of course forgiving… *breathe hard*

So, moving forward, or rather, looking at the bright side, my horoscope (Agnes said it’s rather accurate) of this months says, ‘MONEY is flowing in, I shall be expecting a SUM of money coming from unknown source…’ Could 4D be the unknown source? Hmmm, we’ll see… Of coz I’ll leave the task to my grandma, Agnes and you lot who are thinking to get to the nearest 4D counter for a change of luck

My Black Stallion bares the number 7005 and the SHE COW’s COWISH car WLA 4284.

Pheeew, I’m so much calmer now… Listen up STUPID COW, if I happen to find any damages other than the scratches you stupidly caused, you better be expecting the agitated me come knocking right at your COW-ISH front door! You better learn to MOO the word SORRY to me or risk being sent to the abottoir!

Lipt** tea, quick, I need a quick fix of Lipt** tea. I was yearning for a boost of caffeine when the day barely started for many people. Even the mighty Amon Ra (if you are lost at this point, I am just referring to Mr.Sun Shine in the mysterious Egyptian way) was probably still in his bed. Sitting almost alone in the office at 7.45 am and all I could think of was my precious bed!! I could feel it beckoning me and chanting, ‘come, baby come’… Awwwww, I wish I could jump right into the safe haven… goodness me! Get a grip, Adeline!

*Slapping face in a continuous manner* Urgh, stay awake, stay awake, staaaaaay awake… Perhaps if I keep on murmuring this the chances are some deity up above might hear me and take away my sleepiness in no time. No, maybe they wouldn’t. I’ve only got myself to blame when I decided to stay up and follow the GIANT clash between Man Utd and Liverpool. You can’t blame me for that, really. Even the commentator said no one should ever miss that game, if you are a real football fan. He’s really got a point, mind you and I am really a real footie fan. I know Vincent would absolutely disagree with that if he happens to read this. He thinks every girl watches football games for the same old lame reason, which no other than checking out cute footballers and their *ahem*. I say that’s stereotyping!! I know the formation and I can name almost every MU strikers, wingers, midfielders and defenders. I know about corner kick, goal kick, hat trick, bicycle kick, flute and the list goes on.. la la la la… But of course, watching cute footballers is another pleasure I indulge myself in *grinning*

So last night, I know it sounds silly, but I kept praying silently in my heart as my eyes followed the white little ball all over the field. It sure looked as if MU was lossing their invincible touch and command of the game during first half of the match. Everytime they lost the ball, my heart sank and couldn’t help to let go my frustration. Calm down, I didn’t swear the 4 letter words… but I did if ’stupid’ and ‘donkey’ were 4 letter words. The match was basically rather plain. There wasn’t too much explosive displays throughout the match. But still, I held on to my belief that MU would emerge as the winner, as always, when they are playing against top teams. Think think, didn’t we beat Arsenal and Chelsea?? *swelled with pride* Last night was no exception. I wouldn’t deny Lady Luck was on our side but heck, we won the game and that’s the only thing that matters. I think I hadn’t got so excited for a long time. I think I was probably more excited and delirious than a little mouse spotting a big slice of cheese. Sacrifying 2 hours of sleep indeed worths its while.

That was last night we were talking about, anyway. Now that I can’t stop yawning… hmmm, yes, it’s still worth the while. Hahaha…

*replying messages in multiple chat windows*

*half an hour later…*

I’m back!! I think that tea I drank does work like a wonder! It got rid of all the sleepy bugs in my head, maybe there are still 2 or 3 crawlies left behind but I can handle that Hmmm, or maybe it is the cute guys related topics (speaking about stimulating conversation) that keep me so wide awake as you are very well aware that I am doing multi window chatting (my strength, not a doubt :D)

Now what? It’s only 4.10 pm and I have ABSOLUTELY not a thing to do… maybe I’ll start reading some design document… but that won’t be a good idea. Before I realise, I’d be yawning already! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, can we skip Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday…

Blimey!! Speaking of having nothing to do… urgh, better run now. Need to fix up a little crisis….

Bimbo, that’s what I’ll use it on someone who has humongous ‘assets’ (ahem) and with no brain. Not in a thousand light years would I imagine to be labeled as one. Yea yea, I know, what goes around comes around. Karma it is. I shouldn’t have called anyone with that, perhaps not even mention it silently in my heart.

Anyway, I went almost full fladge looking up the meaning and origin of BIMBO and there you go.

Answer.com defines it as
bim·bo (bĭm‘bō)
n., pl. -bos.

1. Slang. A woman regarded as vacuous or as having an exaggerated interest in her sexual appeal.
2. Slang. A vacuous person: “a male bimbo … who even has to be tutored … in the clichés that comprise the basic interview” (George F. Will).

[Perhaps from Italian bimbo, baby.]

Wordnet says
The noun bimbo has one meaning:

Meaning #1: a young woman indulged by rich and powerful older men

Now, Wikipedia has the most interesting way of explaining bimbo and its origin.

A bimbo is a term that emerged in the English language in the late 20th century as a popular term for a stupid and pliable woman. As it derives from Italian language words of male gender, it first emerged into English (probably through the United Kingdom Italianate underworld slang known as Polari) referring to stupid men; though it now is understood to connote a woman unless one says "male bimbo" (sometimes modified to "himbo" or "mimbo"). Some still prefer the explicitly female variant bimbette, which has also entered The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language. Others distinguish between the words to use "bimbette" to mean a woman either younger or stupider than a "bimbo". The word "bimbo" is sometimes interpreted as the backronym "body impressive, brain optional".

The archetype of a bimbo with sex appeal is much used as a stock character in comedies with sexual humor, an example being Christina Applegate’s character Kelly Bundy in Married… with Children. Alicia Silverstone’s character Cher Horowitz in Clueless is more accurately described as a Valley girl, a similar archetype with more elements of laughably unusual priorities and behaviors than are strictly derived from the "bimbo" themes of comical stupidity and sex appeal. An older comedy archetype of perhaps more direct resemblance is the dumb blonde, for example the giggling naive characters often portrayed by sultry actresses such as Marilyn Monroe.

The sacrifice of a woman’s intelligence in the furtherance of her own or another’s lust is an element of some erotica, especially that of the mind control fetish genre. Stories tell of an intelligent woman becoming a bimbo or bimbette by various realistic or unrealistic means, a process known by the coinages "bimbification" or "bimboization". The former website bimboslutz.com was dedicated to stories of this type.

Of course there is far more amusement in an intelligent woman’s willing behavior as if she were stupid, whether in the course of sexual roleplay or in mainstream comedy, than in the behavior of a woman who is really intellectually limited. Humor deriving from blonde women’s (or male jocks’) stupidity has been accused of sexism.

Usage in fictional media

The term "bimbette" is used in the Beauty and the Beast animated film to describe three women that have "the hots" for local hunter and bodybuilder Gaston. They appear to be identical triplets (red, yellow and green sexy French dresses, blonde hair, etc.) and have the same voice actress (Kath Soucie) providing all three girls’ voices.

An episode of the sitcom Seinfeld featured a discussion of male bimbos, which Jerry dubbed a "Mimbo." This term has since become a fairly mainstream way to describe men with bimbo-like qualities. Another variant, himbo, was formed on analogy with bimbo but without the implication of lacking intelligence and sense.

This entry is from Wikipedia, the leading user-contributed encyclopedia. It may not have been reviewed by professional editors (see full disclaimer)

Translations for: Bimbo

Nederlands (Dutch)
kerel, dom blondje

Français (French)
minette, bécasse, starlette

Deutsch (German)
n. - junges Mädchen mit Nichts im Kopf, Niete

Ελληνική (Greek)
n. χαζογκόμενα

Italiano (Italian)
(amer.) stupida e ignorante

Português (Portuguese)
n. - pessoa (f) agradável mas estúpida

Русский (Russian)
красивая но тупая, телка

Español (Spanish)
n. - mujer joven, guapa y poco inteligente

Svenska (Swedish)
n. - kille, dumsnut, tönt, brutta, fnask

中国话 (Simplified Chinese)
n. - 女人

中國話 (Traditional Chinese)
n. - 女人

日本語 (Japanese)
n. - やつ, 女

العربيه (Arabic)
‏(الاسم) فتاة جميله, غبيه‏

עברית (Hebrew)‬
n. - ‮אישה, פרוצה, ברנש‬

Well, the list can go on and on… but I guess that’s enough for me, at least, to gain better insight of THE word.

Gosh, talking about first impression. I have been regarded countlessly as proud, snobbish, hard to approach so on and so forth but nothing quite like BIMBO. I looked into the mirror to see if I carry any of the characteristics a bimbo carries. None, I see none. Ok, so what if I indeed have grown into my own skin, I’d like to think; I started to notice a few things like colours that match my skin, shoes which lengthen my legs, hair style which frames my face nicely, clothes that shows my barely-there-curves, okay, maybe not a few things, there are whole lot of other things I couldn’t have care less when I was in secondary school, that doesn’t quite justify being called a bimbo. Instead, if you look at it from the nature point of view, I’d say nature has taken its cause. Think metamorphosis, think how caterpillar turning into a butterfly. We, mere human too, are going through that phase of life. Speaking of gift of gab… sometimes, I think I’ve been gifted. Hahahahahahaaha… from bimbo to butterfly… how did I do that? Hahahaha…

Look, I am not being defensive here. After all, like I said, it’s all first impression! I, for some reason, hehe.. had a rather dodgy impression of Becky too. Ermm, I thought she’s quite bi@tchy (Opps, sorry, I didn’t mean to swear ) and look how it all turns out now. I am no longer the BIMBO she one thought I was and she isn’t a bi@tchy girl too. First impression can be changed even some people still think first impression is forever. Well, I said it can be changed but not always. Okay, a little confession time, I still think Mama Monster is a Mama Monster! My first impression basically stays the same even after months of knowing that person. So you see, you can’t really change a mouse to horseman (inspired by Cinderalla), a mouse will be a mouse. What an odd comparison that was I do have some really wacky brain cells.. haha…

Hmm, now what got me really thinking is… do I have a hidden potential to become a BIMBO, or rather, am I on the verge of turning into one?! *alarmed* No no, it’s just metamophosis… I’m just scaring myself… but then again, wasn’t Marilyn Monroe a bimbo? Hmmm, and the world adores her. It isn’t that bad to be one, really

Question, what would u call someone with brain and yet looks like a bimbo at the same time? Braino? Bimbraino? Ah ha, Bimbraino it is! Quick, I need to register and ‘copy write’ my greatest invention *wink* Now now, anyone else wanna be bimbraino??

Put that aside, EJen said her first impression of me, nothing more, nothing less, it’s SHOPAHOLIC! Right on, EJen!

In the name of improving SG economy, I chipped in a good few hundreds for that good cause. There goes my 3 days 2 nights of little shopping spree in Singapore. Opps, I mean, my little getaway in the Lion City.

May Ann, Shearn and I embarked on our little vacation last friday night by train. For shouting out loud, I felt like a refugee when I alighted the train. Everywhere I turned, I saw refugee-lookalikes sitting or lying on their berths. (Please do not take what I just mentioned to heart. Ain’t discriminating against those refugees but rather that was just what I felt at that instance) Slipers and plastic begs were scattering along the narrow walk way. I had difficulties finding our berths especially I was carrying a very heavy bag. I have a habbit of over packing. 3 days is equal to a week when it comes to packing up clothes for holiday. A few extra clothes could come in handy, you’ll never know! Besides, I can’t predict the weather nor my mood, can I?

Horror written all over my face when I found out that I was going to sleep at the lower berth, which when I arrived was occupied by a middle aged Malay man. I surveyed the surroundings. Well, I was gonna spend a night sleeping with 3 guys aroud me!! How very inappropriate and extremely awkward that can be. I winced and looked at Shearn, almost helplessly, hoping he could do something about it but obviously, there wasn’t anything he could do. Speaking of that Malay man, he suggested to switch berth with me. Little did I know lower berth costs more than the upper one! I gave in at the end. I seriously didn’t think I could even close my eyes for one second sleeping in that berth with dodgy looking men all around me. I couldn’t help but imagine someone might creep into my berth when I fell asleep that night. I know I can be a little too paranoid but you would too, if given the same circumstances.

I gave up my lower berth and decided to sleep on the upper berth above May Ann’s. Opposite, there were a pair of mother and son and I must say the son, around 19 - 21 years age looked really appealing… but that’s not the entire reason why I moved next to him, ok! Ok, maybe that’s part of the reason… Now that’s more like it, I felt more at ease and perhaps I could then get some decent sleep. The train was moving rather slowly on the bumpy rail. Everytime I fell half asleep, the train went ‘berserk’ and shaked the hell outta me. It was a rough night all together. I felt like a poor sardine got packed in a cramp and cheap little aluminum tin. I finally settled down on that little bunk bed but not after the conductor came around to check our tickets. Holy crap… he was talking to that dodgy malay dude, asking what was he doing on my berth. He pointed at me and told the conductor that I switched berth with him. I was so worried that he was gonna ask me to switch it back with that guy. I had to turn to my one last resort. Handing out my ticket, I gave him a little puppy look and then flashed him the sweetest smile I could generate. He looked on guard at first but smiled right after that. No question, no nothing! Hurrah, I didn’t have to put up with the dodgy men!

When I finally got into a deep sleep, so I thought, I heard a woman yelling something. I tried to ignore the disturbance and the next thing, the curtain shielding my berth was pulled opened! Very crossed, I was, to be waken up that way! What if I slept naked!?! What would have become of me?! I am sure I’d fine myself at the front cover of our national newspaper the next day. Geez, how very inconsiderate this woman was! Without glancing at her, I handed my passport to her. I couldn’t risk screaming at her if I were to look at her. I get really crappy especially being waken up when all I care in the world is to sleep!

I haven’t told you about the miserable toilets (I’m not sure if you call that a toilet!) in the train. I still feel rather sick in my stomach whenever I think about it. I didn’t know how did I do it but I brushed my teeth in that filthy little something. Good gracious, I rinsed my mouth with the water!! Good thing I haven’t got a diarrhea. We spent the rest of the journey playing cards. I won two games!! Mind you, I was just a beginner! May Ann tried to capture my triumphant moment but her camera didnt work! Blimey! She wanted me to repeat the moment of triumph over and over, which can look rather silly especially the cutie was just 5 m away from me!

We reached Singapore finally! What a luxurious trip. We opted for cab instead of MRT the entire trip!! May Ann was too exhausted from the Paintball game she had on Friday and I decided I couldn’t be possibly reach the MRT station carrying the heavy bag. Shearn had no choice, being the only thorn among two roses, he’d have to agree to that. The cab fare was fairy reasonable, I’d say!! Each of us had to chipped in 2 bucks each to get to Becky’s in Orchard Road. I fell in love with that service apartment when I first entered it. It was such a relaxing and cozy place! What more, all the happening shopping malls are within reach! I mean they are at walkable distance from the apartment! Now I pray that my next project would be in Singapore!!!

Shearn and May Ann went for a bath shortly we arrived. Shhhh, just between us, these two didn’t shower the previous night!!! We headed out for brunch and started what we came for - SHOPPING! Shearn appeared to be the dark horse. Everyone would have thought I’d be the biggest spender! It turned out just the other way round. Shearn claimed that he got the inspiration to go for a major re-imaging after he read Who Move My Cheese. Well, the real reason, only he knows… Hmmm.. Shearn, you better tell us why! I was rather disappointed for not getting anything at all that day. I wasn’t gonna go home empty handed. Then we went in my favourite shop, GUESS. My eyes glued on the display window when I saw a shimmering pair of earrings! I know I always say this, but really, it was love at first sight!!! The girls trying to talk me out of getting it. Honestly, for that price, you can get at least 5 almost similar pairs somewhere else. But it’s GUESS, I’m the GUESS girl, so they called me… Half pushing half coaxing, they finally got me out from the shop. We continued our shopping spree but my mind just couldn’t stop thinking about the bling bling…

We must have walked in at least 2 different malls after that encouter. I couldn’t resist anymore and when I see another shop spelled GUESS, I rushed in to find my precious. You must be thinking that I brought home that stunning earrings that day, huh? Not quite. I found another pair of earring, in heart shape, dotted with pink crystal/diamond hanging next to the one I wanted. I couldn’t decided which and being the PINK girl, I chosed the pink one in the end. Still, I’m missing that pair that made me went breathless. Maybe I could get that one here… Hmmm…

Well, at least I bought something and not going back to Becky’s empty handed. The very night, I wore my new favourite, hitting town to MOS for paaaarty. To be honest, I was very tired and almost tempted to spend the night just chilling at the cozy apartment. Becky, being our official PA just wouldn’t let us spend the night the quite way! We heard that getting into MOS is a big challenge as the queue would be unbelivably LONG. When I say long, it’s about 2 row of shop houses long! Crazy, wasn’t it?! May Ann and I were secretly planning our way out. Frankly, we weren’t your party girls. Just when we mustered enough courage to tell Becky we were heading home, the queue was moving so quickly. In about 5 minutes’ time, we found ourselves standing at the very front of the queue. Alright, no more escaping. It looks like we were going nowhere but into the club!

I hate to say but I have to, Singapore does have whole lot more cute guys than here in KL!! We were busy feasting our eyes the entire night… Hehehe… There are 5 rooms with different music themes and deco. We found our best fit in a room (can’t remember the name, darn!) with white walls, white couches and tables. My feet were already moving to the beat and they just couldn’t stop! I must have shaked off all the calories we consumed that day! Very good. Even May Ann, the strickly I-Don’t-Dance girl started to sway with the music. It’s good to see her shake her booty once a while. It was quite a sight. Ha ha ha.. Too bad we didn’t capture that down. ‘Look there, now, quick’, that was the most frequent used line that night. Like I said, MOS was stuffed with cute guys!! 1 in every 10 guys?? I’m darn serious!

No matter how we enjoyed the party, c’mone, we were drop dead tired. When the love birds, Becky and Stevie gone down to the R&B room, May Ann and I decided to call it a day. Just when I was getting out from the frenzy R&B room, my eyes were captivated by another pair of eyes gazing back at me. We just let our gazed stayed where they were for at like a minute. Then, as if we practised this before, I turned and walked out from the overheated party as his night at the very party was just about to start.

Darn, he was really a cute guy!!

I can’t believe May Ann and I missed our train back to Malaysia yesterday!! Well, it’s not like I haven’t missed my train or coaches before but with May Ann around, this kinda incident shouldn’t have happened. For some reasons, hehe, I think she’s rather organized. By saying that, I don’t literally mean that I am not organized, ok?

Anyway, I missed the coaches to London TWICE on the same day before! I was 2 minutes late and the coach driver drove away without me! Lucky thing, you see, in Europe, you get refund for almost everything you buy except food and cosmetics. I got to the ticket counter and got myself another ticket to London at a later time that day. What else better to do than going to bookshop when you have almost 2 hours at your expense? Well, I headed to WaterStone and lost myself in the world of literature. Oh well, when I hurried to the waiting bay, I managed to catch a glimpse of my coach driving away in the cold winter afternoon. There goes the second couch! Learnt my lesson, again, I headed back to WaterStone (you see, I just can’t get enough of books) and this time round, I waited at the waiting bay a good 10 minutes before the scheduled time.

It is pretty understandable, isn’t it? Get yourself totally engrossed reading a good book and hence forget about the time… I won’t be too hard on myself for that matter.But yesterday, May Ann and I were supposed to quickly grabbed Shearn’s white shirt from a shop and headed back to Becky’s pick up our luggage and straight to the train station. We sorta have everything planned out but not for long. When we set foot into the entrance of the shop, I am not sure if I was thinking about anything else but to get my hands on those lovely lovely blouse. I swear I wasn’t gonna shop!! I barely touch anything until I saw May Ann holding a blouse and rushing to the fitting room. Okay, maybe I missed out a liiiiiiiiitle bit of detail… I was actually trying on a blazer when May Ann and Becky were busy looking for Shearn’s white shirt *grinning sheepishly* But the point is, I never really wanted that blazer anyway.

The funniest thing was, May Ann kept mentioning that we were behind time and would miss the train but none of us willing to give up trying one last piece of blouse in the fitting room. I’m not sure how many LAST blouse did we try on… haha.. girls… I ended up buying 5 blouses and May Ann 2. Our train was scheduled to be at 1.05 pm and guess what, we were still in the mall at 1.02 pm. Great…3 min to rush to the train station at lunch hour… The rest is history. May Ann and I came back by bus at the end. We had to come up with a few convincing white lies to cover up the fact that we missed our train. I couldn’t lie to mum and I confessed to her later last night… hehe, lucky me…nothing happened. I think she must be really happy that I got her a blouse!

I wonder what would happen to us, 2 shopaholics if Bryan, May Ann’s friend was not there. He was running about to get us tickets. You see, these 2 girls hadn’t really taken bus before… I wonder, really, what would have become of us if he wasn’t there! Byran made sure we got into our bus and then he left. A friend in need is a friend indeed. Bryan, I now pronouced you my friend He he…and Shearn, your 30 bucks is now confiscated. If wasn’t your white shirt, we wouldn’t go into a totaly shopping frenziness and we wouldn’t have missed the train!! Your bad, your bad!

What a holiday! You bet I enjoyed myself! This is just part of the many interesting things we did. My eyelids are really getting too heavy to hold up… I’ll tell other bits of my lil’ holiday in Singapore soon (including party at MOS and day out in Sentosa Island!)

Shearn, I know you are reading this. Aren’t you feeling very guilty now? There is still time to make it up to us *laughing wickedly* Free lunch will be good… *hint hint*

Cute little princess clock strikes 8.51 pm. The rain is still pouring. This is exactly what I’d like my Friday night to be. Listening to the sound of rain hitting the roof top, smelling the freshly brewed rose tea and sitting at the same spot expressing myself freely once again.

Same Friday shower ‘ritual’ was performed. It’s funny how my thoughts wander when the water starts flowing. Train of thought flew back to 2 hours or so earlier today, back to the online conversation I had with a friend I haven’t been keeping in touch with for a long long time. The conversation triggered memories which I thought have been sealed and buried ‘6 feet under’.

Looking back, it’s been 6 years now when I  faced the cruelty of reality. High school years for many probably are sweet and memorable, not mine though. It was a harsh final year I spent in high school. That very year, friendships for 4 years literally gone down the drain. It was as easy as 123 for them to cut the bond that I naively believe would last forever. For they were friends I thought would see me through thick and thin. I guess, for a while, for four years, the did become my best friends.

Then, there were rivalries, there were green eyed monsters, one after another misunderstandings, accusations and then boom, I was no longer part of the friendship circle. With that, I was ‘persecuted’ for all the things they said I shouldn’t have done. How stupid and desperate I was to even try keeping and winning back this friendship! For the slightest moment, I detested and grew disgusted with myself. I came close to believe in every single ‘advice’ and the do-you-good-but-harm comments. Afterall, friends are like mirrors, they make you realised your shortcomings. YEAH RIGHT! My experience, well, they weren’t good mirrors!

Still, I needed these people. I needed friends. One last resort, I wrote a letter, saying sorry to them. I begged for forgiveness. How very dog-like I was! I BEGGED for forgiveness!! My cousin was in a disbelief state when she saw what I am about to tell you… I was summoed to the table which sat 5 of the girls. They looked like persecutors, sitting side by side on the other end of the table. I sat down, one against five, handing out the letter and hoping it would then mend the severe tie. One of the girls, read it, tore it, threw it on my face and announced, ‘It’s over! You and I, you and the girls, we are over!’ I stood there and endured the humilliation that came upon me like a tidal wave. It was like an enternity before I composed myself and walked away. The rest of the evening was a blur. I don’t remember what happened to me after that. For all I care, they humilliated me like no one has been, in front of the rest of my classmates, including my crush! For what seems like forever, the entire class just sat and watched the drama. No one spoke for a long time.

I thought I’ve long forgiven and forgotten the entire incident. Now that I’m relating it… it still hurts a little. I know I will never forget what happened. I can’t undone what’s done. I certainly will not forget what she said to me at the playground. ‘It is the biggest mistake and regret I ever had in my whole life to have known you and befriended you!!’ Those are almost the exact words spitted out from her mouth that evening. Again, in front of many other people. I didn’t know how did I survive that. I certainly don’t understand why I just stood there and didn’t say a word. Perhaps, I was speechless. That instance is embedded in my heart until the day I die. Forgive and forget, maybe not. I have long forgiven them but to forget what happened, it almost as good as asking me to stop shopping for the rest of my life.

The tears I dropped probably could stop a minor fire. Days and nights I was crying. I didn’t know why it had to be me who suffered such a big blow. If that’s not the worst, all these happened about 3 months before SPM. Then I realised there is absolutely no point crying over spilled milk. I had had enough and I should put a stop to all these stupid and childish incidents. For months I sat beside my-supposedly-bestest-friend-in-the-whole-wide-world without passing a word. She wouldn’t hand me my work book if someone sitting in front happened to pass it to her. She wouldn’t pick up my eraser even if it fell and rolled under her chair. Basically, we were worst than strangers. You know what, I survived the coldest ‘winter’ that year.

One thing that still drives me bonkers is how fast she, my ‘best friend’ turned her back on me. I thought she’s the only one person who would trust in me and back me up… Now the memory is too vivid… It springs back into my head once again… I could see the blue tables in our lab. I saw her, I saw the girls, all sitting together at the third table on the left. They were deep in conversation. I sat with my cousin at another table. I wasn’t gonna stick around when my presence was no longer welcomed. My cousin was the only true friend I had. We were in the same class. I would definitely drowned if it wasn’t here. Again, I was called over and being confronted.

The girls started to list down the ‘crimes’ they thought I committed. I looked from confused to worried and to panicked. With teary eyes, I looked at her and thought she would step out and defend me. I didn’t do what they said! Then, I saw her face, it’s the hardest expression she had on. I thought I didn’t know her anymore. Standing in front of me was not the girl I shared my deepest secrets. I only saw a cold blooded, almost witch-like girl, staring back at me with disgust so intense, as if I was a filthy little toad. I am still shuddering when I think about the look upon her face. It spells CRUELTY and nothing else.

My fingers grew so cold and I thought I could faint right away. It hurt me to see her face. When she opened her mouth, words that came out weren’t words to defend my innocence. They were knives, instead, stabbing my already wounded heart again and again, until there wasn’t any blood left flowing… That has to be the end of everything. I had nothing else to say and there wasn’t anything that I could say to make them believe me again. They were out to hurt me. They had already decided to exile me. With that tiny bit of pride and dignity, I turned and walked away and I knew these people will never be friends whom I share everything with. I crossed their names out in my heart. Life had to go on. I had to move on. I still had SPM to worry about.

I couldn’t wait for graduation to come. For me, that was the day I got released from the invisible jail. It was such a relief that I didn’t have to sit beside someone as emptionless as a stone. I convinced myself things would be better when I entered college and it did! The following year until now, I haven’t since thinking of how it would be if that incident had never took place. I want to thank these people for opening my eyes, for shaping me into a stronger girl, who isn’t ashamed of who she is anymore, and for creating such a remarkable high school year for me. Now, I celebrate this setback. If things were to happen differently, I am not sure you’d even come to know the Adeline you know now. My circle of friends would probably still be them and I wouldn’t even have gone to UK.

I was having a really long cold war with my cousin, Cecilia for a considerably long period of time. We lived under one roof and slept in the same room but I hadn’t spoken to her for at least a year. If you ask me why, it’s just my stupid stubborness and pride. Maybe I’ll write about that next time. Thanks to the broken friendships, my cousin and I started to realise the strong and pure family bond are what we can always count on. For family never leave each other. We came to cherish that and both buried the hatches. My mum told me good things would follow and that was just a test God wanted me to partake. Foolishly, I blamed God for putting me through all these and almost lost my faith in him. I was only 16 and yes, a fool.

Today, I am what I am. My best friends celebrate my flaws and like me for me. At the same time, I focus on their strength and accept their shortcomings. I’ve walked a great deal to become the Adeline today.

I’ve decided to let it all out tonight. Although I’ve really forgiven them but in the deepest corner of my heart, somehow, there is still a trace of something less serious than hatred. I don’t hate them and I never did. I just can’t find the right word to describe that. It doesn’t matter anymore. Tonight, I let out the final trace of something which has been tugging my heart since that year.

Lemme just say THANK YOU to these girls. When I bump into them few years down the road, that’s precisely what I’d say.

What a feeling… I am smiling…

Oh no, oh no… It’s been 5 days stepping in a brand new year and I haven’t really jotted down any resolutions! There are so many things which come to mind at random time. One minute when I was driving, I thought I declared a new resolution and another minute while sitting on the train to get to KLCC another resolution came to mind. So you see, what I really meant is I need to compile all these little thoughts which scattered around in my tiny little head like shinning little stars in the sky. It’s always the case, easier said than done. Obviously, the compilation of thoughts has been postponed since the NYE until now. *grinning sheepishly*

Hmmm, maybe just let me close my mind eyes and reflect the past 369 days (mind ya, it’s 5th of Jan already!)…

Last year this time, I was a happy fresh graduates who led a carefree life and unemployed too. Not that I couldn’t get a job, just that was waiting for something good to come along. Then there came the Valentine’s Day, the beginning of my journey as an employed adult (was then officially 21 years old!), my first day as a proud IBMer (unexpected friendship blossomed since then) and my of coz first Valentine’s Day spending at work. But then again, it’s not like I celebrate the Valentine’s Day, anyway…

There past a good 8 months in the Big Blue, hardening my wings to fly further and higher. Many people probably still trying to search for a direction to follow at this point. Am lucky to have found mine. On the 16th of October, I entered into a whole new journey after spending nights and nights thinking about what future might hold for me in the new firm. Then I remembered a song ‘Que Sera Sera’. It’s true, what will be will be, so long I set myself a goal and keep moving towards it. I’m glad that’s where am heading to with each passing day. One has to have a goal else it would be like travelling in the desert without a bearing.

Those are the major decisions I’ve made in 2005. Very obvious, there were big steps I’d made. No regrets, no regrets at all. Wow, that’s probably enough to sum up my year 2005! In case you haven’t noticed, those bold steps were all career related. How about love life or any other things, I asked myself…

Speaking of love life, I’ve just finished reading Memoirs of A Geisha. I have heard of this book back when I was in my highschool. I remembered flipping dictionary to look up the meaning of Geisha. It’s a shame that I only started reading this fantastic material now. Perhaps, with my current mentality, I can understand the book better. I’ve always felt that I can easily blend in the character in the books that I read. When I was reading Bridget Jones’s Diary, I often felt that I was her. Same thing happened when I was reading The Shopaholic series. I thought the author must be writing about me. Becky Bloomwood is Adeline and Adeline is Becky Bloomwood.

Somehow, this time, as I took in every bit of the story evolved around Geisha, Sayuri, I didn’t quite feel the strong resemblance between us. I don’t think I could quite go through what she’s been through and her love for Chairman was no one is to compete. I admire her determination to win over Chairman’s heart. That was the one and only drive pushing Sayuri to become a great geisha in Gion, her only way to get close to Chairman whom she fell in love with near the riverbank when they met for the first time. Chairman became the center piece in her life, the reason she smiled, the reason she cried and the reason she lived on the life under Hatsumomo’s constant bullying. I had given up hope believing Sayuri and Chairman would at last found each other in their embrace when I read through the final chapter. I thought Chairman was never Sayuri’s destiny. You have to read to book yourself to find out why. My emotions were so intensed and fused with Sayuri’s as the story reaching its end. The ending, in my point of view is a bittersweet one. Chairman did end up as Sayuri’s Danna and migrated to NYC but Chairman passed away way ahead of Sayuri. Well, Chairman was already in his middle age when Sayuri was only 15!! Strange enough, if I happened to come across such combination in real life (Old man + really young partner) I’d probably snare at it but not this time…

So, what about my love life? Hmmmm, it will not be like Sayuri’s for I don’t have the determination she possessed. Perhaps when I meet my own Chairman only will the courage show. That is still an unknown… Maybe I will never be like Sayuri. Chairman is a married man, for heaven’s sake! To me, that is the boundary I can never cross…  I probably won’t even fight for a guy that I like if he’s attached… I guess it’s best to leave this topic for now.

That’s a lot of flashbacks going on… Oh by the way, am getting totally used to the new hairstyle. Thomas indeed understands we girls very well. Didn’t he say I’d like the hairstyle once my female friends gasping at it and telling me how great I look?? Absolutely spot on! I’ve been enjoying ‘Ahh, I like you hair.’,'Nice hair you have.’, ‘You look so cute and you look like Barbie Doll!’  a lot these days. (Note that some compliments MIGHT not be sincere but who cares) Vain, vain, vain. I am vain *look into the mirror*

Suddenly I feel like giving Thomas a big hug and tell him, ‘Yes, you are right!’

Ironically, just few days ago, I tried so hard to ‘de-curl’ my hair and now am trying all I can to retain the curls… Please stay on my head longer my cute little curls… *geez, aren’t I full of myself? I think I really am…*

I couldn’t believe how bad my sense of direction could be on a faithful Friday night weeks ago. If not mistaken, it was the Friday before Christmas. You see, Adelynn and Adeline (me) were on our way to Midvalley Mega Mall after work. Well, she took LRT to work and hence the important task of driving there fell on my shoulder. I’ve drove to Midvalley a few times from Menara TM and getting there shouldn’t be a problem at all. At least that’s what I thought.

I was more than happy to have Adelynn in my car. We are known as the twin sisters back in our office. Not that we look alike physically, it’s just that our names, they sound the same though it spells differently. I’ve grown very fond of her as I spent longer time in the project. She’s a very easy going person who has a cute way of laughing. It’s really infectious, mind you! Smiling, she is always smiling too

Anyways, like I said, getting to Mega Mall can’t be that hard… A few minutes stucked in the jam and we were sort of in front of the mall. Now, I always use one of the entraces to get to the parking lot. That night, somehow, my eyes were blinded or perhaps was too engrossed in the conversion, I missed the entrance. Now, now… I had my bearing perfectly functioned, so I thought. I decided to go round the mall and get back to the usual entrace I use. Even a moron knows how… In my case, not quite… As I intelligently drove round the mall, like I said, my brain perhaps wasn’t at it’s sharpest state, or, the roads there are very misleading, I somehow landed on a completely alienated road. At this point, I couldn’t try to appear calm. I was squeaking in the car and I looked desperately at Adelynn, hoping she knows her way well round KL. Apparently, that’s where we were heading to, KL city centre, I read the sign board.

O.H.M.Y.G.O.O.D.N.E.S.S!!! As it turned out, Adelynn was just as clueless as me! Both of us had never ventured beyond Mega Mall. I was really panicked. We were searching for the signboard frantically, hoping we would find some direction which leads us back to Midvalley. There ain’t any sign board to be seen. I couldn’t stop yelling ‘oh my goodness’ as I saw Twin Towers getting bigger and bigger. It only means we were further and further away from Midvalley. Bad news!!

Ahh, I almost forgot to mention about the drivers. Geez, I’ve never encountered such mean drivers before. No one seemed to willing to let me through when my right signal was left flickering for at least a good 5 minutes! I had to turned my head and threw the driver behind an oh-so-sweet smile to get my way out! Gooodness… I was glad that the driver was a male species. Just imagine if it was a female species… I also learned that there’s no mercy on the road at peak hours, especially when you have a big P pasted on your car!

Very quickly, I reached for my mobile phone and started to call some friends for direction. So did Adelynn. The ultimate blur sotongs’ were desperately seeking help. You see, it probably take no less than 2 seconds for our friends to guide us back to Midvalley… except, they didn’t know where the heck we were at. Like I said, there wasn’t any sign board in sight. The closest landmark I saw was a tall building with many many little windows. ‘I’m in front of this building, very tall building with lots of little windows. I think the building is blue!’, I told Terence when he asked of my whereabout. Then, I heard Adelynn cracking up almost the same time Terence did. Just when I was puzzling over the cause to this abrupt outburst, I realised there are so many sky scrappers in KL with little windows!! How very ‘clever’ of me.

Without wasting another minute and since Terence couldn’t very well direct me out and away from where I was, I dialled another number. When it got connected, almost half crying, I told David that I was lost, AGAIN. He’s such a sweet guy for not trying to laugh at me. And you know what, after describing 5 minutes or more to him on my whereabout, he roughly made up where we were and asked me to look for a round about to make a U turn. You see, I wasn’t a totaly idiot. I knew I had to find a U turn. The thing is, I couldn’t very well see any U turn!! Heaven knows that round about also serves as a U turn! Good gracious.

Finally, Adelynn and I were on the right track once again… I would be really really scared if I was alone. Poor Adelynn… She had to go through that with me. Both of us, however, did feel a very strong sense of satisfaction and maybe pride when we finally found our way to Midvalley. That’s hurrah and thumbs-up for the us Pheeeew, what an experience. Poor Vicky, she had to wait patiently for Adelynn and I at Midvalley.

You might think this is the end of the story. Well, not quite right… I know, you must be rolling your eyes… but… but… YES, ermm, on our way back to Menara TM (sending Adelynn to LRT station) we… or more accurately I, ADELINE ummm, missed another left turn… This time it led us to Bangsar. You must know, the places I know how to get to can be counted with 5 fingers. Bangsar, obviously is not one of them… Uh-oh, we are lost, AGAIN…

I felt so bad when I took a glance at Adelynn. She’s grown increasing worried. It’s getting really late and she’s taking LRT. I saw a police car and decided to pull over and ask for help. As I slowed down my car and wind down the window, I saw these policemen were arresting an indian macha. The situation wasn’t a pleasant one. Seeing this, Adelynn nudged me to drive away… Honestly, the policemen looked somewhat dodgy! It’s a good idea to drive away. Now we were at some housing area. That was it. I couldn’t afford to go around when Adelynn was rushing to get to the LRT station.

Suddenly it occured to me that Agnes might be able to guide me back to Menara TM. After all bangsar is like her territory and she lives nearby! Ah ha!! It’s the best decision I’d made that night. Agnes knows her way really well, in fact, beyound well!! She knows how many traffic lights I’d pass, how many bumps and all that. Brilliant!!!! Just what I needed the most, a very precies direction!

In less than 10 minutes time, with Agnes’ help, voila, were were finally hitting the familiar road and got to Menara TM I must have said more than 10 times of sorry to Adelynn. Maybe that will be the last time she sits in my car. Haha

That was quite a night to remember, don’t you think?