Adebelle

Pulled a really long face after Thomas, my hair stylist carefully removed the ‘gadgets’ from my hair. The supposed excitment fell and I looked hard into the mirror for a thousand times to register the new Adeline looking back at me. It was all so strange. The original long straight hair was gone, replacing it is curls after curls.

That was not right. That was not what I had in mind! I was picturing myself with Angelina Jolie’s lock. Big wavey curls which frame the face nicely and create sexy silhouette from behind… But… the new curls on my head are just… plain disappoinment which I couldn’t hide. Thomas took a second look at me and kept reassuring me that I look fan-tas-tic with this new hair style. Making his pacifying effort more intensed, he told me with this new hair style I could vow the crowds. How unoriginal and I wasn’t even gonna buy that. My fingers couldn’t help themselves but to make their way onto the unfamiliar hair, using all their might pulling them…. hoping that the silly curls would die off…

Thomas tapped my hands off my hair and begged me to trust him one last time. I guess the look in my face must have scared him… You can never underestimate the power of unsatisfied customer! I looked at him, trying hard to summon the faintest smile as the reply to his plea. Good gracious, the smile on my trying-to-look-happy-face only managed sustain for the bleak 2 seconds and it faltered. ‘I don’t think I’m going to work like this. I was expecting some big curls instead of this.’ Still pointing helpless at my hair, I said to Thomas. Geez, I really do think am a customer from hell. I wonder how long Thomas could hold his patience…This time, trying different approach, he then told me just give this ’stupid-in-my-own-term’ curls a week. If I still hate ‘em, go look for him and he’ll fix ‘em. Reluctantly, I nodded and walked to the counter to pay for the near-horrible-hair-do.

Ka-ching. A Cut Above registered in RM750 from their not-happy-at-all customer. What was I thinking?! Good gracious………… I should have followed the advice of the friendster horoscope… AVOID SPENDING MONEY… I don’t even wanna think about the credit card bill……….. where had my self control gone to when I need him the most?!!! URrrrrGH….

Not too sure if my imagination was playing trick with me, as I walked off from the hair saloon (to take my mind off the stupid curls… I ermmm, went into a few shops…) I caught a few male and female species looking at me and murmuring. Then there was a lady, standing where she was and just staring at me. For that one little moment, I thought she was admiring my hair!! Please don’t blame me for being so self conscious… was trying really hard to fall in love with the curls… and the best way is.. of coz, gain admiring and approving ‘nods’ from the female species.

I had gotta stop checking my reflection in the mirrow while I drove home. I must confess I was too absorbed in my own little world. One minute I was scrunching my hair and trying to make it big and fluffy, another minute I fingered my fringes looking for the best position to place ‘em. Whenever there was red light, I pulled down the mirrow, what else, checking my reflection… The passengers in the Mercedes, makcik’s malay looked at me and covered their mouths and laughed. How very VAIN! Yes, even I couldn’t stand my own vainity.

Guess what, just when I thought I hate the new hair style, I’ve come to appreciate it!! Yes, I love it! Maybe my eyes are used to seeing the new me. This big change all happened in my car After rounds and rounds of reflection checkings…. I can only agree to Thomas…. that I look fab-in-my-own-term (pardon and bear with my self praising, would ya?) *wink*

When I got home. Mum was nowhere to be found. Decided to jot down the post-re-imaging experience, I headed straight to my room and started typing away what you are reading now. Few moments later, mum came in after I called after her to check out the email Ruth (lovely Welsh aunt who took care of me when I was in Swansea) sent. As I turned my head, for heaven’s sake, mum is spotted with the same hair style!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I now realised the impact of my words on her! Just before I left for A Cut Above, I mentioned to her that she should change her hair style and she looks great with curls… Now we not only look like sisters, we almost look like identical twins!!! I must say mum looks very fab with her curls. :) 

I know mum would definitely ask… ‘how much did u do your hair, girl?’ Errmmm…. sheepishly, I answered a couple of hundreds.. mmm, three hundreds… With that answer, mum shrieked… the next thing, she proudly annouced that it only cost 150 bucks to look fab, for her case… ‘Next time I bring you there, ok?’, said mum… Well, I still stubbornly believe mine looks better than hers and I’d still stupidly paying more than average for the next hair style. What a way to conceal heart pain!!!

You know what, as am sitting and typing here, this has gotta be the 20th time I turned to my left and smiling at the girl who looks exactly like me. If you don’t get it, yes, I am looking into the mirrow, AGAIN…

There you go. New year, New me, New hair style *smile* (checking herself out again… you are beyond helpless, Adeline!)

After 5 hours on the road, am finally back home from grandma’s. This year’s Christmas somewhat did not live up to my own expectation. I know I was looking forward to it just a few days ago… Well… There wasn’t any turkey this year nor was there a steamboat dinner. This year, aunt decided to do it differently. We had BBQ in the moonlight, which sounds rather enticing to my younger cousins. They love BBQ for some reasons. *smile* Maybe that’s the time they get to play by the fire and not get yelled. I have to say am not a BBQ person, I am a total rice person

Anyway, the night started off with just three of us, Cecilia, Michael and I sitting quietly around the pit grilling fish balls and sausages. The supposedly the more the merrier situation just wasn’t happening that night. The rest of our family members went to another aunt’s house. Her daughter is getting married today. Christmas just didn’t feel like Christmas at all…

I was so glad when Annie, a cousin of mine came back from work just in time to join the three of us. Now that we are working we hardly have time to talk to each other. It’s really lovely to see her again. When the four of us get together… oh boy, it’s really fun! Laughters, laughters and laughters. Can’t imagine we fought and we argued when we were younger. But then again, who doesn’t fight with their sisters or brothers?

Around 9 pm, we had all family members gathered at the front yard, finally. That’s more like Christmas The night was beautiful. The air was fresh and cool. Aunt prepared food that would last for at least 3 days! There was free flow of wine and soft drinks for the kiddo’s. Little cousin, Sylvia is sole entertainer that night. She is growing up very quickly, very mischevious and often gets everybody laughing by just looking at her. Magdeline, Simon and John, yes, they are my cousins as well, were there too. There is a really strong bond among us. I grew up together with Annie, Cecilia and Michael. We were brought up by our grandparents. Magdeline, Simon and John are our younger cousins and we have known them since the first day they came to this world. Perhaps this, they are my closer cousins.

Uncle John is a very quiet man. Surprisingly he had a lot to say that night. He taught us how to grill octopus and man, those octopus did taste like heaven! These are things you wouldn’t know. These are the things your parents did when they were younger. I saw grandma’s eyes twinkling with delight. What could be a better sight than seeing her children and grandchildren enjoying each others companion,sharing the peace and the joy among the family members. I bet she missed grandpa. If only he were still around…

Geez, can’t stop yawning now… I slept at 5 am this morning thanks to Rummy-O Annie bought. The four of us were playing Rummy-O all through the night. If not the red wine, we would have played till the morning light! What a game, it’s wicked! I have yet to win and we shall start the battle again soon during Chinese New Year. Oh, I can’t wait.

It was a good Christmas, after all. Though it was quiet in the beginning but knowing the Sim’s family, there won’t be a moment of dull when they get together! Oh that’s for sure

Now, I should feel very motivated to get to work tomorrow… except that I’m not Christmas is just too short!

Time absolutely flies fater than I’d have imagined. Hurrah!! It’s FRIDAY again! Friday, Friday, Friday… La di da di da…. Ok, am probably on suger high… ummmmm, or maybe it’s because of the surprised Christmas hamper from Ashley (just so you know, she’s my boss, Accenture client. Look, this can be a bit complicated and I’ll explain some other time) or is it the jazzy Christmas songs I’m playing discreetly on my laptop?? Oh well, that doesn’t really matter. The point is, am all in a groovy good mood at this moment. You know what, CHRISTMAS IS VERY NEAR!!

Awwwww, I just love Christmas and Friday

Ah-ha, I know what you must be thinking… I know I should have utilized office hours doing some work related stuff. But, *ahem* please alow me to gloat a little… hehehe… In case you can’t tell by now, little missy here is running ahead of her schedule… hehehehe… and hence, sidetrack a little wouldn’t hurt, would it? *grinning* There is something else you must know… I just impressed Ashley with the whole running ahead of schedule thingy… *Another pat on my back and can’t hide my smug face now*. Alright, enough of me gloating and get too engrossed of self praising… But then again, why not? It’s Christmas There is no reason not to be rejoiced!!

All the grunting and paranoia are so behind me. In fact, they won’t even catch up with me any minute now. Rudolf, the red nose reindeer is at my service today

P/S: Next up, Lost, Starring Adeline and Adelynn… Keep tuning in

It’s so easy to sit back, open your mouth and start complaining about anything and everything that does not go our way, isn’t it? Is like an inbuilt skill that I own but wish that I don’t. I’ve lost count the times I quietly reminded myself to stop grunting but still, I’m just a human being who is weak in spirit, at rotten times like this.

Shame to say, here I am again, on the same spot in my room, releasing what I’ve been dying to spill since the meeting this afternoon. I know I’ve made a promise to myself not to groan and grunt about work but…. Again, I let paranoia sets in and get the better of me. I feel like am at losing end and going down, down and down-er. I heard voices from the evil side, persuading, tempting and commanding me to give up.  This is the time when I think work sucks, life’s pathetic and everything else is plain LOUSY. Tell me what else is there to look forward to when you might have to work on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

Christmas is like a big thing not only to me but to my entire family. I wonder what would grandma feel if I don’t show up at on Christmas Eve… It’s our tradition to attend Christmas Eve mass together as a family and have nice Christmas dinner with all my aunts, uncles and cousins on Christmas Night. No pressie, no red wine and no time to catch up with loved ones. I haven’t seen cousin Annie for ages and she’s my favourite cousin. The only time to catch up for us is Christmas day. This is depressing and I can’t go on typing…

There I go again… please make this stop. I do not want to sit here and spend the rest of 1 hour ranting. This is unhealthy and absolutely serve no purpose rebuilding fighting spirit. If you don’t see any post for the next coming weeks, starting tomorrow until January 2006, just so you know, I’m still alive and hopefully kicking… Crazy schedules beckconing me tomorrow after 5pm. By then, I’d live to see no sunset, live to serve only WORK. Yes, it’s sad but it’s a challenge if you look at it from different angle. I am still convincing myself that I will absolutely conquer the fear and rise above it all (I know this is the thousandth times you heard me saying this)

I need to keep telling myself that I can do anything thrown at my face. It’s no longer a matter of ability, it’s a matter of self believing.

Now, it’s time to forgive and forget. After all, December is a holy month and a month that should fill with love and everything nice. I will forgive her.

Be strong, not for myself but for those who’s been supporting me all the way, for those who have faith in me, for HER who thinks highly of my capability, for grandpa and for HIM, my pillar of strength from high above.

You just have to bear with me. I need to self encourage to be the girl who is capable of doing anything she has to do.

Dinner time. Mum’s been calling me and this is the fifth time she calling me.

Till next year

PEACE and have a joyful and spirited Christmas. Don’t forget to give and forgive. This is the purpose of the whole December!! Hehe… the December baby has spoken…

Gosh, I can’t believe I went through another blardy fire drill AGAIN in just 3 months’ time! This is ridiculous. It’s like everywhere I go, there will be a fire drill awaiting me. Gosh, 25th floor this time, mind you. Needless to mention my heels!!!! You wanna take a look at them before you call me over pampered brat who can’t walk the stairs. I swear my feet were wobbling like nobody business when I reached 10th floor. The smell of mixture of, body odour, sweat, shoes and everything smelly can kill a cow instantly!! That’s what I went through this morning. On the not-so-bright side, I swell with pride when bypassers or people who work with me in the same floor shot me an ‘oh-my-god-I-can’t-believe-you-manage-to-make-it-here-on-those-killer-heels’ look… Hehe… I somehow just have a thing or two to ‘tame’ those heels…

Anyway, the first time I got home this evening was to take a nice long  soothing warm shower to relax my poor muscles. Shower works magic on me. Is like when I’m stressed, I showered; when I’m upset, I shower. There’s no better way to destress other than that! Now I smell like a ermmm, tropical fruit cocktail thanks to the present I received on my 21st birthday a year ago. First, I experienced myself with a multi-textured scrub which consists of natural apricot seeds, jojoba beads and pumice (what?), followed by Kimi-cassis (what???), well, it’s just mere shower and bath gel, which is made of kiwi, apricot, orange peel and lemon peel and I ended the whole bathing ritual with the raspberry guava moisturizing body balm. The smell.. gosh, I am now afriad that an army of ants would carry me away from my bed later at night and have a big feast eating off my flesh. What an imagination I have, eh? But it’s true, the smell is just tooooo sweet to be true. I wonder how many tonnes of raspberries, kiwi and whatever fruit being crunched to the size, probably a tad bit bigger than atom to make a tube of those things I used…

Anyway, I strongly recommend natural spring scrub to anyone under stress or those who are going out with their hot dates. It not only removes the dead skin (smoothen the texture of skin in no time, like, no time, I swear. Look, aren’t I the living proof?) it also energizes your precious skin. Really, you will feel a warm rush when you rinse the tiny little beads off. It’s great!

Well, maybe all scrubs work the same way… Maybe I am too ‘katak di bawah tempurung’ to only experience it now, at the perhaps-still-tender age of 22… This is kinda my first time experimenting body scrub and guess what, I’m hooked!! I think I should write it down on my shopping list… maybe even on the MUST HAVE list… hmmmm…..

This has to be the weirdest post, but please forgive me. I just can’t keep quiet after having such a wonderful experince with those wondeful destressers

It suddenly hit me last night that I am not so open minded after all. But then again, the question is how do you define open minded?

Call me boring, dull or even rigid minded if you may. I used to think drinking and smoking are morally wrong. I must say this has something to do with my upbringings and family background. Friends that I had in school were those excel academically. Of course, they too, frowned upon the idea of drinking and smoking. Then, my social circle expanded, I met people who are 180 degrees different from who I am and I befriended people who lead different lifestyles as to mine. To elaborate more on the difference, these people I’ve met, you see, they smoke and they drink. They have no curfews and they party till the morning comes. They have no qualms falling into a male friend’s arms after a few booze. Don’t get me wrong. What I am trying to say is that these people adopt different approach in life and that doesn’t make them any less ‘proper’ so to say. They are very affectionate and passionate when comes to expressing their feelings,  which is a good thing, I think. This is a liberal world and everyone is entitled to do what they want.

I thought my mindset has more or less changed over the years when I befriended people whom I thought I’d never befriended. But, it never did change. I realised those things my grandparents instilled in me when I was younger stay in my mind like a permanent mark. I can never change who I am and how I think. I would never compromise what I’ve been believing for so long. Some said I lead a boring life, with no spark and excitment. Some said how could  I stereotyping people who smoke, who drink, who party as the black sheep. I guess, this will never end until each and everyone comes to appreaciate the difference in every individual. I am still learning. It is not easy to celebrate the differences.

So, last Friday, as I sitting at one corner observing people chatting and drinking the night away. I saw many different behaviours, some are totally inappropriate but who am I to say it is inappropriate… So when a stranger approached and put his arms around my neck, I pushed him away and made it clear that I do not like the closeness. He was shocked but then again, he has to realise not all the girls are the same and he has to respect that. That night, I saw this guy walking around and hitting on different girls. He had 98% of successful attempts. It then made me wonder if I am the only different species there.

Am finally up and running, alive and kicking again after what it seems like an eternity of not-in-my-element. You see, had been feeling under the weather since Thursday, yeah, on my birthday! What else can be suckier than that?! I spent the entire day in bed, coughing like an old machine gun and sneezing like it would never stop. Not only that, my throat was on fire, as dry as Sahara and my voice… oh boy… Even a crow sounds better than I did. To cut to the chase, I was in a really bad shape, real bad… To those who have been asking how did I celebrate my 22nd birthday…  Well, now you get the picture, huh?

Argh, I should really refrain myself from complaining too much about work and everything, not when I’ve just decided to take a more positive approach in life, I mean, to look at things from every possible positive angle. *Taking in deeeeep breath* Alright, I must unveal the list of what I would like to achieve in another 365 days ahead as a 22-year-old and here we go.

1. Eat slower
2. Drink 8 liters of water everyday, eat more vegetables
3. Pick up Yoga and maybe start visiting gym.
4. Say prayers before going to bed (haven’t done that in a loooong time)
5. Reduce time spending complaining about work and crabby, crappy, not-   so-civilized co-worker or who-so-ever. Instead, spend more time doing work and constructive activities.
6. Attempt to thrive under pressure.
7. Stop hating pressure and deadlines. These are good for the brain. (I must be nuts)
8. Increase intellectual level, read more intellectual materials rather than chick-lits.
9. Talk intelligently (not that I don’t talk intelligently but then again, MORE
10. Say No
11. Forgive and forget… More
12. Be a considerate and understanding daughter, granddaughter, cousin, colleague, employee, road user (driver)
13. Make patience my second name. (errrm, this is absolutely achievable, I think)
14. Stop getting so panicky
15. Focus on things which are worth focusing. Same apply to people.
16. Be more ZEN-like or cucumber-like
17. More self-poise, MORE
18. Calm and composed at all times
19. Reduce the intensity of the usage of ’stupid’
20.Shaopaholism will be a thing in the past
21. Shaopaholism will be a thing in the past
22. Shaopaholism will be a thing in the past
23. Shaopaholism will be a thing in the past
24. Shaopaholism will be a thing in the past
25. Shaopaholism will be a thing in the past
26. Shaopaholism will be a thing in the past
27. Shaopaholism will be a thing in the past
28. Shaopaholism will be a thing in the past
29. Shaopaholism will be a thing in the past
30. Shaopaholism will be a thing in the past
31. Shaopaholism will be a thing in the past
32. Shaopaholism will be a thing in the past
33. Shaopaholism will be a thing in the past
34. Shaopaholism will be a thing in the past
35. Shaopaholism will be a thing in the past, yeah, so yesterday, so yesterday…

So, I think I am a year wiser… I am saying goodbye to excessive shopping sprees after all. I will be of course more Zen-like and anger will hardly presence in my close-to-Buddha-approach. I will not silently cursing stupid and inconsiderate drivers, instead will be very tolerant to their not-so-smart behaviour. I will not secretly wish someone who offended me to step on banana skin and fall skywards and loss their two front teeth, instead, I will be really forgiving and thank them for making me stronger. So you see, I am really a year wiser now, aren’t I?