It’s been 4 days working as a conversion analyst at BASF, Menara Telekom. I have to say I’ve been through quite a bit in just 4 days assigned to my first project. I was so overwhelmed and extremely petrified on the first day reporting to the project team. There were data cleansing, ABAP, conversion template and whole bunch of stuff I had absolutely no idea what they were. I thought I was gonna drown and there were times I doubted if I could rise above and survive this. Everything was so wrong at first glance; the people, the environment, the job scopes and the list goes on. I couldn’t find comfort in anything. There isn’t any shopping mall to begin with. Hmmm, I thought I love changes and that wasn’t quite justifiable.
I thought everyone was hostile. I spoke to no one other than the 4 newbies who just joined the team. I know I was supposed to do some networking but it’s just awkward. Yes, first day wasn’t fantastic and I almost jumped in joy when the clock strike
5.30pm
.
I am glad that my spirit came back later that night. No one is going to help me to get through the fear if I don’t help myself. Having said that, friends’ encouragements definitely play a big part to get my feet back on the ground. I just have to fight back the paranoia and embrace challenges as they come. Said a prayer before going to bed that night and I know everything is going to turn out right the next day. I’ve not only regain faith in myself but also the new surge of energy which I know would keep me going forward.
Second day at work started to look promising. I wasn’t as lost as the day before. Katie, my team lead had assigned 2 work buddies for me. Thanks to these two fantastic and awesome buddies, I picked up quite a bit on the processes and began to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Hmmm, this indeed proved my size vs. character theory right! You see, these two lovely buddies of mine, they aren’t exactly wearing size S or M… you get the drift, huh? I wasn’t discriminating even though SH insisted that I was. He just likes to pick on me, I guess.
Anyway, the main point is, Agnes is such an angel that I almost believe she’s sent from above by my grampa. She also reminds me greatly of a person I love so much, Amy, my nanny’s daughter. They almost share the same laughter and gosh, they way they talk are just too identical!! Agnes is almost the most patient people I’ve met so far. I thought my questions would be replied with raised eyebrows and reluctant responses but that’s never the case. She used the entire morning going through things in detailed with me, things that Katie expected me to deliver which freaked me out on the first day. Agnes just made everything looks so simple and doable. Trust me, I couldn’t see any impatient sign on her face. All I could see and hear was her genuine smile and comforting voice.
My excel skill sucks, yeah, that’s right. Agnes is what you call the excel expert. She taught me so many excel tricks that I never knew before. She has created such an ideal environment for me to learn. Needless to mention, I picked up almost everything she had to teach me that day itself. Can I just comment on how fast I am as a learner *smug* Errrm, you can call me a fast learner if you want *grin* That’s actually my selling point or has it been everyone’s? Okay okay, enough of gloating… hehe, but then again, what’s wrong of giving myself a few pats on the back after a great morale recovery, right?
Agnes was absent yesterday. I thought I would be stranded without her in the mist of the excel spreadsheet. Uh-ha, I was wrong. That’s why everyone should absolutely believe in themselves. You can do whatever if you think you can. I managed to complete my first task, data cleansing before
3 pm.
That was quite an achievement I’d say, judging from the bad intestines I was having and the speed of work done. I am really proud of myself. By the way, bad intestines as in swollen intestine. I had stomach discomfort since Monday and it just got worse yesterday. My stomach was bloated up like a balloon and gosh, I really have no idea what went wrong with it. It felt like gastric pain and maybe food poisoning. My stomach isn’t a strong one.
The pain yesterday was excruciating. I decided to take half day sick leave go home and lie down a bit. Moreover, I finished what I was supposed to do way ahead of the deadline. As I was packing, my phone rang and a friend was asking if I’d like to join him and a friend of him for a drinks somewhere nearby. Honestly, I was thinking of declining but blimey, my car was blocked by many other cars in the car park. I could only move my car after
5pm
as told by the pesky car park carer… so you see, I wasn’t sneaking out to the mall but the situation left me no choice. We ended up in Midvalley. I’ve found the solace I was looking for. Clayton, I still get to go to the mall during office hour… la la la…
Everything starts to fall into place. I had this sense of satisfaction when I showed Agnes the spreadsheet and the feedback form. I have to say what I’m doing now, you might wanna call it donkey job… it’s really some tedious and mundane task in the whole wide world but for some strange reason, I’m pretty happy doing it. Everyone has to start somewhere, after all. I closed my eyes and visualized 2 years down the road and I see myself attending important meetings with big guns all over the world, constantly flying around the globe and giving constructive suggestions to other newcomers. Hmmm, that’s it, that’s what I wanna achieve… Maybe two years is a tab bit over ambitious but aren’t that what most self help books say? You’ve got to have a clear goal and you work toward that.
Oh well, today I had an unexpected meeting with Ashley, the head of conversion team from BASF and four others in the team. I thought I’d get really lost in the meeting but surprisingly, everything sounded pretty normal, not beyond my comprehension at least. That should be a good sign. Oh yea, I was really glad to have done my piece of work before the meeting. I could now brief Ashley on the progression and she looked impressed. I guess I have Tony Buzan, the mind mapping master to thank to. I could remember the details of my assignment effortlessly. I found that people who climb the corporate ladder faster than the others usually are those who know their stuff in the meeting. There are people who are really good at what they are doing but fail to articulate during the meeting. They are those who are struggling to reach the top in the rat race. It’s not only the substance that matters, it’s also the communicating skill, I realized.
Great day at work I’d say. Great start at least. I’ve started to bond with the people. Agnes for one exclaimed just before I left the office and called it a day, ‘I really love this girl and I’ve meant to say this long time ago.’ Wow, 4 days aren’t exactly that long, huh? But what the heck, that makes my day. J
I am going to do learn new thing tomorrow and I’ve been assigned with another new task. Stephen is right, I should try to learn everything that’s going to help adding my value here. I am going to be down right humble and be sponge-like to absorb others’ wisdoms.
Yes, I know I can and I will rise above the challenges and emerge as the stronger person. J
There were 2 desperados though.. 
Did I just smell romance in the air or what?? 