Adebelle

As usual, was getting ready to leave my house to work 5 minutes to 7 am. As the door was opened, a tiny little bundle came running straight into the living hall. Oh wait, I think that little thing and I actually exchanged a quick glance. You know what, Hollywood ain’t making movie outta nothing! I thought I saw those pleading and innocent eyes of "Shrek 2"’s kitty cat, Puss in Boots!!

Unlike the movie, I wasn’t gonna get fooled by those eyes. My most primitive reaction was to let go of a loud cry. That dinky bundle must have thought that I was a nuts. The next thing I knew, mum and dad were out from their bedroom, looking slightly annoyed, I thought. They heard me screaming on top of my lungs and must have thought something nasty happened to me.

For a moment I could just point at the white kitty hiding under the curtain. You see, I wouldn’t have yelled so loud if it was a puppy… Cat and I.. let’s just say our relationship’s too complicated… Okay okay, I admit I admit.. I hate cats! You see, I have quite some unpleasant encounters with them when I was younger. My neighbour threw a fierce gray mama cat straight at me when I climbing up the staircase one fine afternoon. The shaken and extremely agitated cat waved her sharp claws mercilessly at me when she came crashing down on my body. My left arm became her target to vent out her frustration and perhaps that became her sweetest revenge!

That was not it. I was chased by another mama cat when my gramma brought me to some relative’s right after church. Gosh, that cat is a monster! I guessed I accidentally stepped on her tail and that’s it, she was so furious that she would bite my head off if she could. Couldn’t remember how long we played the chasing games. I was running and crying at the same time… That was quite a horriying experience. Ever since then, cat and I became sworn enemies.

Hmmm, even so, I couldn’t help but wonder what would be awaiting that poor little kitten after being ‘exalted’ from the living room. I would keep it provided it could transform itself into a cute puppies… Maybe the the Indian next door would buy the Puss in Boots’ expression? May the good lord bless that little bundle.

This was how Milky looked like. Errm, I sorta just named that kitty

Those big teary eyes.. gosh…

Christina’s living hall was full with chatters and laughters. Everyone gathered there to watch the long awaited TeamBlue video… There were so many candid moments.. all those font memories flashed by in front of so many pairs of naked eyes. I saw happy faces, happy grins… contended with what feasted their eyes…

As the night dragged on, gone with it bit by bit was my voice… Alarmingly, realised had completely lost it when midnight came, when the party got heated up to its climax… I tried to laugh along but my throat hurt. It took thrice the energy I commonly summon to laugh to laugh that night. Ellie was saying something as the video playing on the screen. I hate it when I couldn’t reply to her remark… That was such an unsual thing! Geez, evil bugs that invaded my throat, you sucks!

The next morning, bad throat had take a bad turn… I could not utter a word by Saturday morning, which means, I had to cancel the Singapore trip to Yvonne’s wedding dinner. Awwww, rotten weekend! Everyone was so gonna be there! Susan, Chia Yin and Laura. It must been a year since I last saw them. That was kinda like the best time to catch up with my dear friends.. Stupid bugs >:(

You see, there’s every reason to be so upset.. There goes my weekend

*Taking in deeeep and loooong breathe*

Alright now, it’s time to stop complaining and trying to see things in different light. Always remember STOP, CHALLENGE, FOCUS.

Hmmm.. let’s see what I’ve gained from lossing voice for 2 days…

1. Gain self inner poise??
    Hmmm, maybe. Weekend spent majorly relaxing and thinking. Doesn’t that
    make one more poised?

2. Increase in self intellectual level??
    Possible, as times were well spent on reading RD and Star Finance sector..
    Besides, quite a chuck of time was spent watching Discovery Channel bout
    Mummies and stuff.

3. Enhance listening skill, active listening??
    Oh yea, definitely. Since not able to speak, realised spent more time
    listening in stead. Hmmm, it’s such a good time to pratice on active
    listenining, a skill, unfortunately, not many of us have.

4. Decrease conflicts with family and friends??
    Of course, of course. Who would have the heart to want pick a fight with
    someone who can’t speak, a dumb?

5. Energy well preserved??
    That too.. hehe.. been just resting on the couch all day with food, fruit
    and drinks served by the table next to the couch… hehehe.. the priviledge
    of getting sick Don’t even have to lift fingers for anything! hehehe……
    Besides, mum spared me from attending sunday mass at church. She said
    the it’s too hot out there and that’s not good for my throat.

Wow, so many advantages… am in awe

After all, it’s not such a bad thing *wink*

Oh wait, with the husky voice I am having now… I could pass for having a SEXY and SEDUCTIVE voice, si? hahahahhaha

I am lying if I tell you I can run or maybe do another 2 km of brisk walking now. My feet hurt, BIG TIME Whose wouldn’t after walking down the stair case all the way from 66th floor to 40th floor in HEELS??? That’s not it. we walked about 2 km to a gather point. Needless to mention about the hot sun!! I thought I’d die of dehydration. That’s how much I sweated!! There was at least a good 2000 people at the gather point. You wanna imagine the smell of that?? Eeeeuuuuw……..

Fire drill, I’m talking about fire drill here… Geez, can’t believe am that ‘lucky’ to experience this in just my first week here. I wonder in the case of real fire, would anyone leave all their belongings and even bother to follow the instruction? Hmmm… I took my cell phone and my new purse, anyway.. was even thinking about securing my car key… hehe.. Think that’s a bit too much too kiasu But you can’t blame me… I’ve just got back my black stallion from the workshop yesterday.. and I promised to take really good care of him.. no more police station, I hope.. keeping fingers crossed on that So you see, leaving the key behind would somewhat break the promise.. Don’t you think?

Oh  boy, am sneezing again.. Am I in Antartic or what??! Hot and cold, hot and cold… no wonder I am still sick turning into a weakling soon.. By the way. a new discovery I made..I think sweating cures bad throat! I was literally muted this morning when I came in the office. Could barely utter a complete sentence.. and the next thing, I am yakking and laughing almost close to normal. After all, the fire drill wasn’t such a bad thing. Think a lil’ bit more.. how often do we get to stroll in the park during office hours with another 1999 users of the twin towers?? Hmm, it was quite a sight… and what more, get to escape from work for a while.. and overheard some guys at the back saying that it was a good time to see cute girls!! I must admit I did do a bit of scouting.. ehehe.. and detected a cute guy.. a cute posh guy in his black chic Burberry shirt.. wait..a macho goatee.. Hmmm, wonder which floor he works at…

Hurraaaaaah!! It’s 12 pm now!!! Lunch lunch!!! I think we should have more fire drills

It’s 3.12 PM, Tuesday late afternoon. Instead of sitting in my posh mobile office (66th Floor, KLCC) am spending the quiet hot afternoon all alone at home. Relax, I haven’t gotten fired… just that my immune system is currently at a low ebb… not sure if this has gotta do with new working environment (literally hanging mid way in the air!) and perhaps dehydration… or maybe the lil’ piece of raw salmon I took last night???

Waking up by the dutiful mobile phone-cum-alarm clock at 5.45am, found myself relunctantly walked to the washroom and did the morning routines. Oh Jesus Christ, I had a terrible splitting headache and my whole body was and is aching from the neck down to my lower back! Can’t tilt my head even at the slightest degree!! One must be thinking I had done some kinda vigorous exercise the day before… Minutes after prancing in the washroom, decided it wasn’t a good idea to get to work today. What if I fainted in the LRT? It’s a long journey and all, you see… and I wasn’t at my tip-top condition, not at all… Honestly, was feeling really really weak, almost like never before.

It must have been 15 minutes in the washroom that I decided to head straight back to my bed. Lying down was never easier. I could feel my neck close to the breaking point when tried to place it on the pillow. Even slight movement caused pricking pain.. Yes, It is that painful!!

Mum came knocking my door about an hour later. She thought I couldn’t wake up and was hurrying me to get ready and beat the jam. Heard no answers from my room, she opened the door and found me cocooned myself in my blanket. Told her that I didn’t feel like going to work and was feeling really sick. She just reminded me to inform someone in the office and left the room. It was 7 am then.

When I opened my eyes again, it was way past noon time!! I must be really really tired to be able to sleep that long. Pounding headache still persists.. and my neck is still killing me.  For once I thought I’d just spend the rest of the day lying there.

Silently, cursed the stupid bulky laptop… It is so damn heavy, I swear!! I’ve been carrying that stupid thing around yesterday the whole day! It was the longest an hour or so (to and fro), standing (was on heels) and carrying that stupid thing in that sardine-like-train. I think my bones must have been so badly reformed by now!!!

I didn’t wanna use the over-sized bag that comes together with that laptop, you see. You can’t be wearing so smartly and yet being spotted carrying that totally hideous over-sized bag… I felt so embarrassed carrying that around last Friday on the way back from work and it hurt my collar bones to the max! I am not exaggerating but one side of my shoulders actually is bruised!!!! Feel like being shortened by at least an inch, when height is already not on my side!!!

I am dying to find a solution to this nightmare. I really can’t go to work everyday like that. Maybe I should highlight to somone that I urgently need a lighter laptop if they want me to contribute my all to the success of the organization. An X41 will be good enough.. hehe… but of coz… I know I won’t get that. Hmm… or I need a stylish and yet user friendly carrier bag to move around… whichever it is.. dear sweet lord, please please help me to find the solution.

I need to go get lied down a bit… feel like the handicapped today and that sucks :’(

It’s 16th Sep, Friday and yet it felt like a Monday. I guess the notion of going to work after 2 weeks of break gave me that kinda feeling.

Couldn’t hide the excitement the night before. Was busy choosing working outfit and erm.. choosing working outfit.. haha.. what can I say, am very particular when it comes to dressing the right way especially on your first day @ new work place.. didn’t they say first impression is very important and from scientific point of view, it takes up to ermm.. was it 27 good incidents (or more) to replace 1 bad incident. So you now understand why is it so important to dress up properly, huh?

Geez, I should have listened to my dad’s advice.. woke up at 6am that morning and when finally got ready to go out, realised it’s already 7 am and that’s not a good time to go out on the road. But, if you enjoy listening to the road symphony composed by raging road users… that’s an entire different story then.

Hmmm.. speaking about driving for the first time on the congested LDP exactly 2 weeks after that accident, I have to give myself lots and lots and lots of credits for reaching Kelana Jaya LRT Station effortlessly.. Oh well, maybe I did struggle a bit when started the engine.. you know there’s this fear when I felt the car vibrating mildly… I kept mumbling Hail Mary all the way from home to the LRT station.. and make sure I stopped at least half a car away behind the vehicle in front.. I did learn from my lesson!

Amazingly, reached the LRT station before 8 am, which means, I had quite some times to travel to KLCC.. I didn’t wanna be late for the first day! Managed to reach office in time, pheeeew…

Realised everyone was sitting patiently at the waiting lounge when I stepped in… Gosh, they were so early but I was on the dot.. hehe.. no need to go through the pain of waiting…

Everyone got in the meeting room and orientation started officially soon after that… Same old stuff, you do self introduction… half of the newbies are at least few years older than I am and the good thing is we are starting from the same place!! Hurrah!!

— Hold on, need to entertain a friend, brb —

I have learned so much that night, that fateful night on LDP…

It not only made me think so much about life but also helped me to indentify many other important things in life.

At time like this, as Jo and Chris put it, it is the best time to know who you really care for and those who really care for you. I have to agree with her. After that accident, I realised that I have so many wonderful friends who are trully concern about my well being and I know they are the people I can always count on. What more, my parents are the most understanding ones in the whole wide world. I am trully blessed! I promise myself to be a better daughter and better friend to these people from now on.

I have made a pack with myself that I will always drive with care. No speeding, be extra alert and of coz, keep the distance!

Hmm, now the radio ad doesn’t sound corny to me anymore. ‘Think of your love ones, drive safely.’ Oh yeah!

Urrrrgh!! Stupid stupid stupid!! I have to re-type everything all over again!! Just a few more sentences to completion!!!! Darn! Craaaaap….

Maybe I should take a shower before giving a second shot at this.

Half an hour later…

To finish off where I left off.. I was back to the police station, AGAIN.. Third time in a row now. For the record, in just a month! Pretty amazing, huh?

I used to think a great smile could get you anywhere. I realised I was wrong! Obviously it wasn’t the case when dealing with Poker Face, a PMS sufferer cum police officer, by the name of ZAKAR*** (you see, am just protecting his identity.. no offence :D) But wait, have to say he’s really acting like a dickhead.. So you see, name does reflect one’s bahaviour.. haha..

Now, Ah Lek, mum’s mechanic was waiting for us at a compound in front of the police station where they keep all the towed cars and wrecked vehicles. Gosh, it wasn’t a pretty sight, I tell you.. Among the wrecked cars, stood a black Honda City (just like mine! gosh!!) which was way beyond deformation.. I shivered at the thought of being in that car.. what could have happened if… (touch wood!!). Praise to the good lord am still in one piece, still up and running… I really oughta count my blessings.. Worse could have happen.. Later, Adli, Ah Lek’s worker told me that the owner of that Honda City has been terminated, so to say.. Outta service, he said…Quietly, I said a prayer to that poor soul.

Praba and Adli were busy taking down our details. After that, they started to plan out a story which CE and I were to relate to the police officers later on. It got rather tricky when realised am still under P license. A wrong step could cause me the entire license! Besides, we wanted to plant a storyline in such a way that CE and the third party involved could claim on my insurance without jeopardising their NCB’s. (NCB = No Claim Bonus, something I learned on that fateful night)

Voila, we had a plan and the insurance company’s gonna take care of everything and bear the full repair cost!! But, it looked like I had to pay a good sum of 600 bucks still.. 200 bucks (duit kopi) and 400 bucks to the insurance company due to the P licence. Despite having to pay some money, I’d never felt so relieved for the entire night!! Also, talked to mum on the phone. I knew I would NOT get any scoldings when I got home. Hehe.. I made her promise not to scold me. It’s simple.. just have to tell her that I was really scared and I would not repeat the same mistake again. Of course, it tested my manja-ing skill to the fullest. I knew my parents well.. too well.. hehe.. I know they have this huge soft spot for me when I start to wail like a baby. Phew.. settled mum… I could sing and dance there and then… Oh wait, I also realised, yes, money can make the world go round!!

CE suggested to take a picture of me and show it to the rest. He said it was a waste no one got to see me in that dress. I guess when spirit is lifted, one would agree on doing anything, even the most ridiculous thing like taking picture in the middle of the night, surrounded not by the scenic view but bunch of wrackage! Must say, it was fun though. I started to laugh again…

Inside the police station, CE and I were led to some kinda registration counter. Didn’t expect to be greeted with smilling faces but didnt expect foul treatment too. We were given each a form to fill in our particulars. Was it me or the world has caught on the D.I.Y concept?? Was told to type out the incidents all by ourselves via the worse than BURUK PC’s sitting quietly at the corner of the room.

My skin crawled when I noticed the condition of the keyboard. Eeeuuuuuuuuuw, it’s plain disgusting!! I examined its condition  closely. Gosh, the then white and intact keyboard is now black and completely loose. It’s really amazing one could still type on it. Suddenly, the thought of people digging their nose while typing  crossed my mind and made my tummy really sick! Perhaps, many pairs of unwashed hands touched that filthy keyboard before!! I had to stop thinking about all sorta possibilities…

CE got called by Poker Face and was told to work on the statement in BM. Gosh, they must be joking!! I hadn’t use BM since I left high school. CE and  I exchanged glance and laughed. Willy-nilly, we would have to come up with something, .. Oh well…

By the way, unlike me, CE wasn’t disturbed by the condition of the PC. He was just really concentrating on the story while cracking his head trying to come up with a complete sentence in BAHASA. Fret not, fret not, he had me beside him.. hehe.. after all, I ain’t got no A1 for nothing.. hehehe.. About few minutes, was called by Poker Face. I winced at the thought of touching the keyboard. I’d just have to try my best to keep minimal contact with it while typing on it. An agonising couple minutes with the keyboard ended as I hit the last period to the statement.

Sense of pride filled me up as I walked to Poker Face and informed him about the completion of the statement. I would have thought that was the end of nightmare. Apparently not! This lousy Poker Face was a complete cow! He scolded me when I told him I had CE’s car plate number wrong. Flashing out the brightest possible smile with sugary voice, I said him, "Bang, nombor kereta kawanku dah salah. Boleh betulkan tak?" It always worked when I speak to people that way. This Poker Face broke the record! He ignored my nice gesture and avoiding any eye contact with me, he said, "Apa benda ni? Allah..banyak pasal..tsk.. Kenapa tak check tadi?!! Jika salah lagi, kau buat sendiri, I kata awal-awal!" What the ****?!! What was wrong with him? As far as I remember, I was being really polite. Besides, am not some serial killer or rapist, he didn’t have to talk to me that way!! I hadn’t even complain about his inefficiency! Stupid cow!! What a dickhead!!

I was fuming!! Glad that I didn’t have to see his Poker Face as CE and I walked to another room. I could only pray that the inspector I was gonna meet would be a tad bit nicer and civilized. Another round of waiting… This was really driving me nuts!! If only if they could be just a lil’ bit efficient and do things with sense of urgency I’d actually consider giving ‘em some credit and respect. But, some people will never learn and these people happen to be our ‘beloved’ government officers.

I must have changed at least 30 sitting postures in the waiting room. And everytime a new people came in, I’d receive an overall scan.. It must be the dress!! It’s just so outta place!

Anyways, the only thing that kept me sane in there was the conversation and the laughters I had with CE and Adli.. It made waiting a whole lot easier to bear.. Finally, CE was called in the investigation room. It took about 10 minutes and was called in.

I would assume the inspector to be a man and turned out to be a she. "You datang dari mana? Kenapa nampak macam nak pergi nyanyi kat pentas?"  That was the first thing she said to me when she saw me. Half embarrassed, I explained the incident to her. The problem is that she too, has a poker face. I needed to use another strategy to charm her if I wanted to stay outta trouble.

Voila, personalization it is! She was so surprised when I addressed her by her name. I said to her after observing her workstation, "Kak P**a suka Siti Nurhaliza ker? Pernah pergi koncert dia tak?" Hehe.. that was the killa!! She changed her attitude completely when she heard that. I would have made the TeamBlue facilitators so proud if I told them this. Hehe.. I started to yakkety yak my way… Adli signaled me to bring out the 200 bucks on the table… Gosh, on the table?! I thought it should be done in a more discreet manner?! These people are so daring!! I bet all the inspectors are corrupted!! No wonder she wasn’t trying to hide. Oh my goodness…

By the end of the whole supposedly investigation, I guess she had come to really fond of me.. my strategy not only worked, it worked so well! Hurrah!! She told Adli that I sounded just like her 8 year-old daughter. I thought I saw her eyes sparkled with motherly love when she said that. Not too bad, eh? hehe… I told her that that was gonna be the last time I see her and wanted her to take care of herself. With a genuine smile, we bid goodbye.

CE and I couldn’t be more alived as we walked out the police station! An end to a long night.

Got home around 2.30 am. Mum looked stressed and worried as I entered the living hall. As promised, no scoldings I slept at 4 am that morning.

Before going to bed, I said a special prayer to god, thanking HIM for watching over me.

Speaking about decision. Decided to drive to TGIF by myself (following behind CE’s car) instead of carpooling with him.

Well, how hard could that be? I mean, all I had to do was just following closely, yea, closely behind CE’s car. No sweat and was sure to get there safely.

It all went smoothly as we ‘cruising’ along the LDP highway. We drove past One U and then, just about to reach the destination…

It happened in just a blink of an eye, not more than 2 seconds… Used all the strength hitting on the break pedal, pulling the hand break as hard as I could and that’s it. BANG! My heart stopped, brain blanked, feet jellied with both hands clutching tightly onto the steering wheel. Next thing, frantically, reached down to get my cell phone and hit the call button.. began to sob like a baby when heard the voice coming through the receiver..

Felt like for a moment the world had ceased to spin and couldn’t hear any sound except my own trembling voice, trying to relate what had just took place like a minute ago.. Perhaps, I was just repeating the same words over and over.. "I’m scared, oh my god..I’m really scared.. accident… I’m scared, oh god, oh god.. I’m scared.. how.. really really scared now…"

Outside, it was bustling with activities. Saw CE, looked very concerned, maybe shocked, walking down from his car. Not far ahead, there was another car.. Saw many people, 4 of ‘em walking towards CE and began with some furious hand gestures. Frozen and glued to the driving seat, with eyes taking in all that was happening out there and at the same time repeating the same phrases on the phone. CE walked towards me and bless his soul, with a very sympathetic face and comforting voice and he said, "Don’t be panicked, it’s ok, It’s ok. Money can settle everything." I mean, by right, he should have been yelling at me and perhaps even cursing at me..Who wouldn’t? You get what I mean? At that instant, if wasn’t on the phone, I would have jumped straight onto him and gave him some bear hugs! After calming me down, he walked to the foursome and as suggested by him, he would deal with them and this allowed to sit in the car and tried to compose myself. I think F.E.A.R must have been written all over my face. (not to mentioned the first accident just met like a month ago)

Now now, still couldn’t understand the situation. I mean, what was going on?! Of coz I knew I had hit CE’s car but what the heck was going on?! The fact is I wasn’t driving fast, dare say below 50 km/h. For heaven’s sake, the road was pretty congested even if I wanted to speed. How did this happen??!! Honestly, I was totally clueless as how did this crashing happen.. Oh right, maybe I was driving a tab bit closely behind CE but hell, there was no way I could just bang him that way! I swear I wasn’t dozing off too!!

It must have been forever when one of the two pairs of couples decided to talk to me. My heart was pounding when they were approaching my car. Taking a deep breathe, was expecting some rude and abusive words and reaction from these two. For the first time I detached myself from the seat and got down to the side of the road. As they approached me, I experienced something like never before! Instead of giving me nasty stares and demanding for compensation she started to calm me down, gently and repeatedly. She kept reassuring me that what happened was not my fault and accident like this does happen. Bless her!! I was pretty much like a scared kitten and she a great pair of hands, patting and comforting the scared kitten. Her boyfriend is just another good samaritan. When was asked to park our cars else where as we were obstructing the traffic, this guy agreed to drive my car upon requested by me. Obviously I was in a bad shape to drive again, mentally.

Shooot, the car engine went dead!! This time the Litrak guys did what the do best, they helped to tow my car further down the road which offers wider space. As we reached there, Winnie was standing by the road side. It was a relief to see some familiar face! She witnessed the incident and decided to stop by to check on us. She was also on her way to my dinner. I was somewhat more composed now than before. Must have regained my inner poise. Not till Winnie asked if I had informed my parents. Once again, the reality sank in… I had to do what I hate to do…

Oh wait, how can I forget to mention bout the ‘vouchers’?! Hmm, I prefer to call these people KUTU’s (flea). They are just so annoying. They look like some thugs and you wouldn’t want ‘em to get anywhere near you so long as you weren’t in the dessert. Oh well, there was this particular kutu (driving like a complete nutcase when he tried to cut in and parked his car behind Winnie’s), he had a walkie talkied with him and he contacted his friends, another bunch of thug-like guys, to join the party! Within minutes, there came another proton and a tow car, parking along the roadside complete making the already jam packed road even more jammed! Told them our own tow guys were on the way and we did not need their services. Gosh, there kutu’s are hell persistent. They decided to sit on the fence and continue to wait for a chance to seal a deal. The fat one really got on my nerve when he came and nosed around beside ME and CE, saying, "colleagues also can langgar? Hahaha" What an idiot and stupid cow! This fat kutu almost picked a fight with when asked him to leave us alone! Low class!

All of us were starving but it wasn’t for long. Jo and May bought McD’s for me, CE and Winnie!! Hurrah, our own lil’ farewell party by the road… They really did help to bring some laughters especially after a night like this. They are the best!! Oh yea, by the way, they gave me this ‘not meant to leave IBM’ theory, which really got me thinking.

Everyone was so concerned. My dear fellow Teambluers called and sms-ed one by one to give their moral support. Couldn’t be more touched! May was the first to call, followed byJo and thenJess.Hearing their worried voice made me feel really bad. Once again, I’ve got myself into such a mess!

It was such a big shame that I couldn’t attend my own farewell dinner and they were having the dinner without me @ TGIF.. It was even a bigger shame that I could only showcase my gorgeous dress to the kutus and busybody onlookers…

Oh no, it’s nearly 4 am… need to get up early for church tomorrow.

P/S: Next up, ‘fun’ @police station

TO BE CONTINUED…

"How was your send off yesterday? With big bangs?" That was the sms I received from a friend this late morning. My reply was of course very predictable and crisp. "Yea, with big bangs.", I said.

Let’s rewind a little bit.. let’s start from Friday noon.

It started of so well, I thought. Friday is my fav. day of the week.. always has been. Woke up around noon and was all geared up for a lil’ shopping spree. Oh well, was gonna get some hair clips you see.. left for Sunway Pyramid around 2pm. Like I said, wanted to get some hair clips. That’s what I had in mind. By 5.30pm, I’ve not only bought the hair clips.. hehe.. let’s just skip this part. (just say I’ve got side tracked a bit) *wink*.. Errm errmmm..I do have some serious illness, shapaholismn I realised.

Got all excited when I got home. Realised didn’t have much time coz the dinner was gonna start at 7pm. Took a quick bath and dolled myself up. Decided to dress for the occasion and I did. Picked my all time fav, the gorgeous lil’ purple princess dress + cute teal mini cardigan. After 30 mins, was all set for the dinner long planned by Jess and Chin Ai.

Sense of direction is probably what I lack of… Deserted the plan to go to the Curve by myself (CE spent half an hour giving out directions on the phone) when I drove through the tunnel which leads to Plaza. Thought it would be safer if I joined the rest.

There I was, parked my faithful black stallion in front of Ali Baba. Saw CE and the rest waiting just right outside there.

I made a decision I was gonna regret for the rest of the night…… perhaps the rest of the month.. hmm…

Rain has not stopped since last night at the land that I call mine. The skies are moody grey. There isn’t thunder or lightning, it is just the rain… It must have been hours.. wonder when is the sun gonna come out and give out its first ray onto this melancholy land. Am longing for the rain to stop..needing and wanting the sunshine to take away those unspoken feelings.

Have not learned from the past? Fell flat on the ground again… again and again.. wanna linger, don’t wanna stand up…

And then heard a voice. Is it the inner voice or the voice of the angel? It says, "Hush now my child. Stop all yer self pity and get your feet back on the ground. Lingering and hanging on to the past will not get you ahead. Look at it closely..blessing in disguise it is, my child. In time you’ll see, you’ll learn. Go now and look for peace from within."

The rain has stopped. From afar, I thought I see the most beautiful rainbow hanging across the blue skies.

Deep down, decision has been made… Giving time and space, I will wait and will not run away this time.